I love my horse! she's absoltuely da bomb! She ate Bernie's hand until he would let me go see her, and while she took a swing at clarissa, she was docile as a lamb for me... *grins* I love her, she's great! I'm hooked on Dan.

Well, the Fall Fest was a hit! In all respects, I must say that the two bands I enjoyed the most were "Erik's" and Kevin's. Erik's needed to tone down on the guitar and up on the singer, but as I found out, they were covering for their singer, so... LoL I went by the tunes. And, for all that you could only hear the instruments, it was really good! They were on the right beat, had the right key, Man, I loved it! I could kinda dance along, and me and Missa had a contest during one of their songs to outdance Tara and Leslie... Being Burrillvillians, we won, of course.
Kevin's band was good because they incorporated some very different insturments, such as the trumpet and keyboard, and played everything they did really well. From the backstage perspective I had of this group, I heard that not only is their drummer insane, but extremely good at what he does... and man, does it show. Who do I want drumming lessons from? LoL Ernie! *grins*

Anyway, I was kind of put-out by the lack of friendliness I felt between me and Erik, but I suppose that after you break up, you shouldn't expect a guy to immediately become best friends with you, huh? (and may I add a note to that particular statement? Reading things over really does kill your sense of spontaneity. I'm not saying he was unfriendly, just busy, and the feeling was probably mutual on his part as to my own unfriendliness.) *grins* I've proven that when it comes to stuff I don't know, I'm a wuss. I don't think I'd want a friend like me either. Granted, I do wonder if he realizes that it's only with things Idon't know in that particular corner of my life, and for very specific circumstances... I doubt it. Not many do... Carolyn. *duh Duh DUH sounds...*

Right... so what's up with Missy and Craig? I'm sure that everyone would like to know!! But, fortunately, for the sake of our friendship, I have nothing to tell. (Thank God!) As I told Brad yesterday, she enjoys the attention as she was extremely neglected by her last boyfriend, and Craig likes her, I believe. So... What could come of that? many thing, but nothing in the near fututre, my 2-Pack-senses tell me. *grins* I hope she reads this, and can revel in the inside jokishness of it! Yay! LoL

Yeah... and I'm sure everyone would jsut love to know who the new love of my life is, but with the greatest of ease, I tell you... No One. *grins* I like being single, I like being free. Granted, now... I miss my guy's hoodies and the smell of cologne, but I guess them there are things I jsut gotta get over. BTW... Note to self: Get Citrus Basil spray from store... *beep... answering machine inside brain* Hmm... I wonder, can you get hoddies from friends? I'll have to try that out... Seems like it might work... *sneaky sideways-eyes look* I like hoodies... hehe

Oy... Secrets and more secrets... Don't people ever get sick of secrets and lies? I happen to know that I refuse to tell any more lies, and I am officially putting out my notice to hte world.

I HATE SECRETS!!!!

All they do is drag you down and kill you. Crash and burn. Kapoooie! but oh yeah... I didn't miss the moving of Dan last night... It was put off again, duh! So, supposedly, we're moving her this morning, brihgt and early. Well, it's 7:35 right now, and I've been up since about 6:30 because I couldn't sleep. Do ya know how entertainging a V.C. Andrews book can be, if you're half-awake? Pretty Damned Good!

Roight... so, calendar for today. Dan is first and foremost. Then over to Missa's at 11, then at 3, we're (meaning me, missa, and possibly crystal and kerri) heading over to Apple valley, and at 6 or so, I have no idea what's going on. *grins* I'm good like that. hehe

Okay, I'm done now. All this out of sheer boredom, and the sense that I needed to do it. How great is that, huh? So yeah... LoL I'll prolly type in here later... Bye byez!

Oy... Carolyn, why do you have such a talent to make me see the truth and face up to it? It's disturbingly like Brad's own talent... *snarls* Like I said, ebtween you and my past, and him with the present, you two could make a great diagnosis about my own current state of mind, jsut by hearing my voice on the telephone... Or you could make a book, "The story of an Abby."
Damn you. Both of you. That's all I got to say. Damn you both to hell in a handbasket. (And we're talking a plain one, no paint or decorations allowed! So there!)

*sighs* Push, shove, corner, shove harder... I hate those moods, LoL Self- hurting tendencies can never be outgrown, huh? *shakes head* Man... I hate it when I get into such a mood as that. Someone hurts me, and all I can think of is hurting them back... and because I'm stupid, I usually end up hurting myself more than anone else, especially the one whom I was aiming for in the first place. *pounds head on desk* Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!!!

Erm... I need my clothes back... Should prolly jsut ask him when he wants his sweatshirt back... I don't suppose he's going on Saturday because of theboyscouts and all... *rolls eyes* So, it's either Sunday or bust. So... I should prolly call him and see what's up. Are we even going skating? Ugh... I need to figure out my calendar. LoL I'm clueless!!!

Well, went back to school today... felt like something dragged up from its crypt. Yeah.... Not too good, if ya get my drift. By the way... I figured out that all you who had heard about my website might actually like to know the site for it.. if anyone actually ever reads this thing. And if you don't, why do I bother updating it? The paradox's that go through my mind... Because, if no one looks at it, then they wouldn't comment to let me know if they do or don't, so it's completely useless to wonder. *grins* Anyway... the site is this one right here!!! *grins* Have fun, don't let your ehad hurt too much...

Still sick, as you can tell by 1) Me not being in school, or 2) the time of day on this blogger. All bundled up in a heavy sweatshirt and pants and socks and slippers, and yet I'm still very very cold... The paint is slowly chipping off my fingers, leaving them silver with peach color showing through. I need to be better by Friday... Because that's when I'm needed to help bring Dan home... Granted, she's not going to Smithfield, but closer to my home... So now that I've got an interview with a job in N. Smithfield, my horse is moving to Burrillville. Figures, dunnit? *bundles* Oooh... I'm cold.

I was supposed to stop by Erik's today to get my clothes and give him his sweatshirt, but I think it's going to be put off a day, until tomorrow. Granted, I still haven't told him when I'm coming but... that's because I'm me, and I never inform anyone of what I'm doing. *grins* Yippe Cay-ay Muther Flusher!

My website is now finished so far as basics. I've got jsut enough on there to make everyone want to know me, jsut little enough where I can update it regularly and not go stark raving mad. *shivers* Going back to my blankets now... talk to you all later.

WHOA! I have a major thing bugging me... Do I act insane? Like.. overly happy or something? I mean... I know I'm insane, but jeez... People don't like me because of it!? Cripes! Will someone please tell me these things? Okay... done for good now.

Hmm... Shows I haven't RP'd in a bit... Got all that nice melodrama out in one solid post. Now if only I could sustain it, then I might be able to make adecent story to show to Ms. Ryan... Of course, she hving absolutely no humor, and me with very litle, it might be hard for her to see the light of what I write. So, possibly I should jsut give up on this venture and start anew, huh? Just say yes and nod your head.

i'm very nastily sick. Like, I don't know how I made it through the whole day at school, nevermind PSAT's... The damned nurse wouldn't let me go home and curl up under a couple blankets with my dogs sleeping on either side... Nasty little witch, isn't she? She looks at me, agrees that I have a fever, and tells me to go back to class. *rolls eyes* Moron.

So, I'm watching the Mummy Returns for the 40 millionth time, wondering why the hell I'm writing in this damned thing, and overall jsut feeling pretty damned crappy. *grins* I think it's cause I can't get off my ass and go riding... hehe But, snuggled into my lounging clothes, with my hair all crimped and fuzzy around my head does make me feel jsut a tad better... If not completely. Ugh. I'm going back to my movie... BTW, for any and all who care, Craig did call, so I might jsut get that job in Slatersville so I can work nearer to Tara sometime... *crosses fingers* Please let me get it!!! Then i can earn money and go riding all in one afternoon! Yippee!

:: The evil witch has shown herself once again, blue eyes glowing softly from under the hood of her heavy blue hoodie even as the silver claws grow rapidly from under the sleeves, razor sharp and clearly dangerous, the fingers appearing shortly afterward, before the sleeves stop at about mid hand. As she steps into the light of the overhanging streetlamp, every feature of her face becomes apparent, a rather regular looking being, in the way of cheekbones, chin, nose, mouth, eyes, and forehead. The only thing that might even possibly come close to being rather attention-getting is the particularly raging look of coldness in the rather regularly colored eyes. The expression of intense calm upon the woman's face might suggest some exercises having been regularly done to slow the rbeathing and wick away the redness that had surely been in her cheeks when this particular fit took form. ::

:: The word, "Billabong" upon her chest and back are clues that yes, she is of this age and race, and that yes, she is perfectly capable of blending in, when not in such a foul mood as she so obviously is. Where is her broom and hat, you might say? Well, you see, this witch doesn't need them. She has powers of her own... Cruelty, coldness, a passion for mischief, and one hell of a nasty temper. The dark blue jeans, ratty and torn at the crotch, stained and bedraggled around the thighs and knees, show off her own spirit of defiance and adventure-loving character. The dark blue and grey sneakers, which used to be so much tougher-looking, another pair of which she saw for sale at Famous Footwear the other day when shopping for Homecoming shoes, places firmly on the sidewalk, shoulder-width apart, toes jsut above the drainage hole into the sewers... ::

:: The eyes watch out over the streets, piercing with a surprising clarity into the deepest, darkest corners of the great beyond, and even beyond that. In her hand is the dagger she's carried for ages, the knife that has been honed to a near-perfect edge, the blue tint of the blade proclaiming to its steel origins; truly, it is nothing more than a Swiss Army knife her father had given her for learning how to tie fishing lines. Now, though... now it's an extension of her arm, and the power held therin. A twisted little smile appears upon her slightly parted lips, even as the blade comes up to dance along the edges of her golden hair, before being lowered once more to her side, jsut before her knees give out and she slips to the sidewalk, one hand looping about the streetlamp even as the tears course down, down... ::

Shallowness... My old math teacher used to say that all humans are created equally at birth, and from there it is what gets unlocked, that determines the average, the above average, the genius, and the idiots. But what exactly makes people shallow?

I have a theory, one which I know from personal experience. Shallowness as a defense mechanism. Do people pretend they're hyperactive, completely unserious, or a particularly excitable person so that no one can ever get close enough to see the real person underneath?

Oy... How come is it that I find myself doing that more and more often? This should prolly be going into the other blogger, but I'm too lazy to move it, effectively. Err... Erik told me today in response to something I said that people could never tell when I'm serious. Makes me wonder, why do i do that? It's a defense mechanism, my da says. And I belvie im, simply because I've dona an informal study of people's defense mechanisms... Particularly my family's. My da and my bro both have the "I don't care, you can't hurt me" attitude when someone threatens them, my mom jsut screams and carries on until the threat goes away, and I throw up my shields with a combination of the above-stated, and a hyper, ultra-shallow exterior.

*sighs* Oy... I need to stop that. It gets so annoying, sometimes, I jsut want to whack my own head off with an axe.

And I notoriously avoid things that I think will cause me damage. *grins* Which is why I'm avoiding Clarissa at the moment, as well as several other people who shall remain nameless in this particular blogger. whatever... I sitll need to decide what's up... and why I'm still avoiding that one particular area in my mind... So, night all. I'll tlak to ya later.

And, for all those who read this earlier, the post was deleted because my opinion changed. I decided that that post was, very simply, not worthy to be posted in this sacred place of well-meaning thoughts and opinions.