Blah, I'm bored. I am going to want to shoot myself this summer, I can see it right now. Oy... I wish I was at the dorm... Blah.

I've come to the conclusion that I work better on less sleep. Hmm.. An interesting conclusion, I suppose. Especially since I usuallt work better on more sleep... LoL


BIRTHDAY PARTY TOMORROW!!!! YAY! God, I am sooo worried about this comm project. There is a very good chance I could fail this class, especially since I got a 0 on the first exam, being in the hospital and all... Oy. Stupid fucking teacher. I was in the hospital with the grandma who died a month later, and she wouldn't let me take a makeup exam. Ugh... Anyway.. .I'm worried. Unbelievably worried. I've never felt this... helpless with any project. Nevermind something I would normally make up the ngiht before,,, Geez...


You know, every once in a while, I get a reminder of all those things I've left behind; in giving up being hurt over and over, I only get hit every once in a while, but it hurts more than 10 of the little hits, put together. I had a moment like that jsut today. I saw this German Shepherd pup, and the sight of it made me flashback to the days of Mouser and Sophie, when I had my horse and dog... The crazy trio. I remember Clarissa commenting one day on what an odd trio we were. All misfits, the wrecked vindictive horse, the a malnourished-tiny dog, and the girl who could make friends with the meanest animals. And from there, you remember the days of Mouser being deathly-ill, being the only one whose hand he would eat from. To racing in the house screaming how much you hated them, how much you -HATED- them for selling him without a goodbye.

Of chasing Sophie around the woods after she got off her run, coming in the house to see her come flying down the stairs, through a surprised Damien's legs, to slam into my squatting form. And they tried to tell me she was ompletely Damien's... Hah. That dog was always mine, she knew who had saved her... *smile* I'm so glad she's happy now, even if I do miss her sometimes.

Dan... The crazy, vindictive bitch-mare who attempted to crush any soul stupid enough to get near... Again, a personal friend. I wish I could say she was happy... Unfortunately, I cannot. *sad little half-smile* Meh... It could be worse, I suppose.

Meh... Enough of reminiscing. I already asked Naomi to stop, and then I go and do it anyway. That shepherd really god to me,I suppose. I can't wait to see my little Spritey... Do a little dance, race out to jump on my car, tell me all about how she missed me, how long will I stay this time?? Dear God, I have a wonderful imagination, huh?

I need to join teams. Lots and lots of teams. Do something, anything, everything. Take up the time I use to do nothing these days. I used to have stuff to do, but I QUIT!!! heh

YOu know, at the same time I can't wait to go home for summer break, I really don't want to. I jsut want to stay here, goof off in the dorms where I know I have someplace to hang out at all times, where people don't turn away because I'm in low mood, they jsut make me laugh and let me pick what channel I want to watch.

Meh.. I'm going to bed. Enough melancholy. G'night all!! *kisses, hugs, whatnor, skip and hop into her bunk* YAY!

You know what? I'm so sick of myself, LoL I love how I bitch and complain and then never do shit about any of it. Hah.. Masochistic anyone? heh

Anyway... I'm finally doing some good for someone! I'm making my roomie do sit-ups and fitness-y things with me. Hah... Wicked funny. Eventually, we're going to have her doing whole workouts. It's great. I just keep adding things to the routine, and she jsut nods and goes along with them... Manipulation, anyone? heh Two nights ago, we did two sets of 20-rep situps- different variations and whatnot, but still working the abs. Plus some reps of different leg things. Tonight, we did 2 sets of 40-rep situps, plus some leg things, plus some stair stuff... Before we got yelled at... I hate working out before 10:30... heh

I'mreally not that sore. Considering I haven't worked out since... last May, seriously, I'm -really- surprised. I think I may jsut watch Naruto... It'd be more fun than what I've got cooking... Which is, surprisingly not, didly squat!


Naruto TIME!!!

Just for the record, it's raining out, my stomach hurts- hunger, I think..., i have one more final that I dreamt I already took when I passed out for an hour after getting dressed and giving up on the idea of Chem.

What a weird day, already. And I have only been up 2 hours... Wow.

PS. I think I'm oversleeping, because I was fine all last week, and now... with lots of sleep in me, I'm -exhausted-. But it feels sooooooo good.

And... -Today- is Joe's Birfday! HAPPY BIRFDAY, BASIL BOY!!!!

Ya know, I've gotten yelled at for retaliating to things in this journal, but this one time, I just can't muster the energy to duke it out face to face. Not even duke it out, jsut explain myself, and have to re-explain myself, and then... Do it -all- again!!! I've lost my confidence in text. 2 strikes, we're getting close to my limit, before I completely just... throw in the towel and say Fuck it. I don't care enough to put in the ffort for this BS anymore. I suppose that it is just me not explaining myself well, or truly being a dickwad, but whatever, this is who I am, people. When I write in here, this is who I am, what I'm like. Clueless, slightly retarded, selfish, unable to communicate my wishes or thoughts, and completely hopeless in the manner of trying to be socially equipped.

Strike 2, next time you're out. Well... I'm on strike 2. So sick of being yelled at for nothing... Just yell at me again, please. I deserve it this time, I know. I'll give it to you for free. *shakes head* I'm tired... Forget I said anything. My temper flared... *shrugs* Shoot me. In the face, please... At least kill me in one shot, k?

I am listening to the song that Alana has christened "mine." Jet - Look What You've Done. I really am not sure how she decided this, as she did it a week before I ever heard about it, so it's not even like I told her I liked it. Lmao. Rollover DJ!! WHOO!!


*rocks out to some -very- loud music* Who cares what you play; say whatever you say; I don't mind!!!


I'm kind of worried about a friend of mine. She seems so.. distant these days. I'm not sure if I'm doing something differently, but every time I talk to her, it's like I'm talking to someone who jsut can't give a shit, not even enough to get into it and maybe chuckle, or crack a smile. It jsut seems like maybe she's going through some stuff that is draining all her energy; I wish I could help out. She won't even tell me what's up, so I can't offer any possible solutions, which ties my hands... I feel horrible, I really hope she's okay.

On the other hand, I'm really rather annoyed with another friend of mine, who seems like he's still quite unhappy with me. *arches a brow* I really think perhaps that we're a pair of people who just can't get along for long periods of time. *shrugs* We get along fine most of the time, but every once in a while, when I'm feeling particularly curious, something blows, and we end up not speaking for... long periods of time. Last time, it turned into something like.. I don't even know. A year, maybe? How sad, really, to think that someone that I like as much as I do when we get along, pushes me to stay away for so long when we have one blow-up. Granted, I pushed back last time, because we're both dumb, but... I don't think we ever truly got over that particular incident.

*shrugs* Meh... People change, for better or for worse. I should know, I'm one of them. Anyway... I think I'm out for now. Going back to sleep... Onto 10 hours... BWuhah.


PS... I am in a very good mood, which is why I decided I won't waste it on undeserving people.

I sit here, between classes, taking the 15 minutes or so to ice up my knee, which evidently did not enjoy the run I took last night... Shit. I hate it when my knee hurts; means I really need to start working out again. *grumble* Stupid smelly gym with hulking boys and tiny girls... So not fair... *end of grumbling* Anyway... It's all wrappped up, iced and whatnot. The ice stinks... I think I should have thrown it out when I cleaned the fridge... It seems to have absorbed the smell... I will do it when I get back after the last of my classes... Lee has Spanish (?) music on her site. I know this is deifnit;ey not Englihs anyway... WTF mate?! I can't even sing along to it!!! Oh oh oh!! Candy shop!!! SWEET LEE!!! *does hte best little grind she can... sitting with one leg up and icing...*

One another note: I felt distinctly betrayed last night, thanks to one boy in particular. *frown* Way to be.

HAH!! My roomie is so funny sometimes. I'm doing situps on the floor, right? So... this dingbat comes in from her group or something and she looks at me, and I look at her. I point to the floor, pat a spot, "C'mon down and do osme with me!" She simply raised one eyebrow (Or would have if she could), and very uneasily spoke, "I haven't done anything lately... Why are you trying to torture me?!" I LOVE THIS GIRL!!! She cracks me up!!! We ended up doing quite a few, and she did fine. I wonder if she's sore.. WE only did about half as many as I wanted, but I won't tell her that... heh

OW!!!! MY KNEE HURTS!!!

Class time... Way to make me walk up the hill... Damn campus.

I lied. Lmao. I read what they were saying wrong... Oops? hehe

Okay so.. .if this doesn't boggle the mind, I have no idea what else will. Yet another example of how fucked up I am... Lmao

English Genius You scored 92% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Stupid Cupid Test

I love how Laura and I are constantly changing our minds about how we fel about Evan. One second we love him because he's so cute, the next we want to hit him because he hasn't shown up again!!

I think I'm going to take a nap, because I just don't feel like dwelling on the downfall of boys... LoL

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall.
~ Confucius

"The easiest kind of relationship for me is with 10,000 people. The hardest is with one."
- Joan Baez

The piano recital was really good; people I talked to after all had the same reaction - that Scott is fantastic. He says (I talked to him this morning at breakfast.) that it sucked, but everyone there was really impressed.

This old lady at the concert took a look at Kate and I's skirts, and gave us the nastiest looks. Seriously, though, is it my fault that skirts that are long on others are short on me? Geez... It's not like I had everything hanging out. Here's what I wore, and I thought it was appropriately dressed up, yet casual enough for a piano recital: A slightly sparkly black skirt which came up to mid-thigh (Granted, my legs are long, so skirts always look a lot shorter on me than other people), a white halter top with these large blue and dark blue flowers printed on it, and over that a black business jacket. Overall, I thought it was a rather elegant outfit. Also, a pair of black clunky shoes that with the extra 2 inches they gave me, made me seem like a giant (heh).

Kate wore a pale pink with tiny little flower print skirt that was flowy around the edges, black 3/4 length sweater-deally that fell off the shoulder, and a matching pinkish corduroy jacket on top of the sweater. Black flipflops settled the score. It was such a nice combination, I really wish I could pull something like that off.

Even Kevin got dressed up! He wore a really nice, kind of shiny red button down shirt, with white pants and black shoes. We all looked very cute!!!

Anyway.. The grandmother (we guess), gave me and Kate the nastiest looks; I really don't kow why... I'm pretty sure that she was giving me the nastiest look, though, because even though the skirt is mid-thigh, it -looks- short. I put zig-zag parts in our hair and made us look pretty.. *grin* It was so much fun. heh

Then, when we came back, we got Kate drinking vodka and Pepsi, watched Shrek 2 in Kevin's room, and then played DDR at 2 am... lmao Wicked funny.

The holes in my right ear won't let my favorite hoop earring through, but it will others... *frown* Stupid things... I hate how whenever I put in earrings, I have to practically repierce my ears... And people wonder why I usually keep the same pair in for months at a time.

Oy. Anywway.. .I've got to get to doing comm... *gag* I really wish I could slep some more... Me toi'ed...