About 3-5% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.Being an ENFJ means that when it's time for someone to take charge, you'll usually step up to the plate. Your type possesses a balance of sensitivity and command that can make you an inspiring leader. You aren't one who's easily ruffled. In fact, you can maintain much more grace and calm than most people when faced with a crisis. In all kinds of tough situations, people can typically count on you to keep the peace. In relationships, you're known for giving your all and for needing others to do the same. Your kind is usually good about being careful with other people's feelings, treating people with gentility and respect. On the whole, ENFJs like you can have an exceptional ability to be in tune with other people's emotions and needs.

People of your type are known for being hesitant to give away their most valued possession: their heart. Once you do give your love, you expect that it will be treasured and treated with care.

Yay... My Love Personality Test. Next one!!

You've got people smarts! Social intelligence refers to the ability to read other people and react appropriately. As a result, you probably have a pretty keen sense of others' motivations most of the time. It's likely that you can also spot the difference between what people say and what they really mean. This understanding of behavior and human nature can help you go far. After all, it's been said that it's not what you know, but who you know that counts. And you have a way with people. Your social intelligence may manifest as having the gift for gab, being a top-notch networker, or an excellent listener and friend. However you put this intelligence to work, you're sure to be admired for an abundance of social know-how.

This was the Multi-Intelligence Test.

HA HAH!!! SUCKER! You think this is me? Ohhhhhh Bustah!

Gift for Gab, maybe. But sensitivity and overall wonderfulness? BAH HUMBUG!

About 3-5% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.Being an ENFJ means that when it's time for someone to take charge, you'll usually step up to the plate. Your type possesses a balance of sensitivity and command that can make you an inspiring leader. You aren't one who's easily ruffled. In fact, you can maintain much more grace and calm than most people when faced with a crisis. In all kinds of tough situations, people can typically count on you to keep the peace. In relationships, you're known for giving your all and for needing others to do the same. Your kind is usually good about being careful with other people's feelings, treating people with gentility and respect. On the whole, ENFJs like you can have an exceptional ability to be in tune with other people's emotions and needs.

Yay... My Love Personality Test. Next one!!

You know, I spent all of yesterday feeling like I was bi-polar. I swear to God, I am. It's probably the only way to completely account for the severity and quickness of my mood swings. And I'm not talking -little- mood swings. You can ask anyone who knows me even somewhat well. They're pretty big.

Well... the past couple of days have been weird, but yesterday, I counted it out, should have been the day I got over everything and was fine again. Was I? Oh... NOPE! I skipped all my classes, forgot to go to my advisor'smeeting, ate one meal the whole day (weird, all in itself), and stayed in bed until 1 in the afternoon, with my pillow and computer, doing NOTHING!!! In fact, the only reason why I got up, was to eat my one meal of the day.

After I got back, I went back to bed until 3, then finally got up at the prodding of Dave and Kevin, sat in their room until 7:30 watching Kenshin, until they left to get food, and then went back to my room, to bed, and played on my computer until I went to sleep. What an exciting day, huh?

So anyway... I understand that most people have lazy days- which is why I called it a lazy day- like I'm going to convinve myself that they reason why I cut myself off from humanity is because I'm "lazy." No.. I was seriously, in the hole, unhappy. About what? Take your pick. I jsut don't know. Life in general.

"It's my fucking life. You would to." - Yeah... I can definitely see how you might, just after the days I've been having. The thing I hate most is drugs, right? And yet... at this point in time, I jsut had a serious contemplation about how it might feel to jsut get a reprieve from what I've been feeling. It's not even like anything bad has happened recently... I just hurt. A lot. In my head. I think I need to see a psych, or get some really good drugs. Definitely a psych.

Anyway... away from that scary shit. Want to hear a funny, let's-all-bash-on-how-Abby's-life-conspires-against-her, story? Yeah, I was supposed to be going to a horse show today. So... I checked all my stuff out- I'm in Robin's car. Cool! So, last ngiht, I stayed up late, but went to bed figuring I could sleep in the car. Well... Kate came in with Katrina last night at 2, woke me up, so wen my alarm went off at 4:30, I was still really tired. But whatever.

So I get dressed, wih my 40+ layers of clothes, and grab my stuff, and head down to the usual meeting place, getting there a little early. I'm sitting there, all alone at 5:30, thinking, "Wow, I'm wicked awesome, being the first one here!" Well.... 1/2 an hour later, I'm still alone, and the only cars that I've seen, were going away from me. So... I'm pisssed. WICKED PISSED. So... I head backto my room, throw my shit in the corner, and head backto bed. I put my phone on silent, planning to be a rebel, but of course, my conscience plagues me with guilt, so I checke dit every five minutes until 6:45. After that, i was like... WELLFUCK THIS!!! Shut the damned phone off and went back to sleep. Now, it's 10 am, and someone's coming to fucking get me, after my bro calls and is like, "Abby, I guess you're at a show, so good luck, but if you get out early or hatever, we have eggs for you to color, since I know that;s your favorite thing to do for Easter, and your eye-candy is over... Oh, yup, Erik!" And All I want to do is go home and color eggs and drool over ERIK!!! GODDAMMIT!!!!

Anyway... It's just going to be a shitty day. I'm resigned to this fact. Peace out. I'm going to a fucking horse show.

You know what? MT? What the fuck is that?! It's a group of people who feel the need to feed their little egos by being condescending to others, and fighting with those who rise to the occasion. Let me tell you, I have never left there more angry than I am right now. Fuck you. Fuck you all.

I've come to the conclusion that I am a rare specimen, to be handled with care and a fire-proof outfit. Hell, we've all known it, heard about it, experienced it, gotten burned by it.

I got some help tonight, and realized that I really just need someone around who understands me even the slightest bit. I feel like I walk on eggshells with everyone, all my friends. Like, if I show even the slightest bit of ill-humor, you'll all run away screaming, becuase I'm the HAPPY ONE!! I feel like if I snap at you and don't immediately take it back, you willnever come back. I'm so sick of the bullshit. What makes me so goddamn special?! Doesn't anyone else ever want to just scream and pound on something? For a reason that no one besides yourself would probably understand?

Is there any reason why I have to be so special? I'm so tired, left drained and flaoting, at the mercy of the weather, in the ocean. Where everything is up and down, right and left, dangerous.

I miss Cat in equal parts that I want to punch him and hurt him, for hurting me so much; the same for my brother, though perhaps a bit more... For ruining my family and the last years of my life living at home. I want to take a crusade on the things that have hurt me most, which continue to hurt me even now, those things I hate beyond any comprehension, far from any league of hatred I have ever felt toward anything, anybody, any cirucmstance.... And those things I can't do a damned thing about.

The crux of my existence, and the aspect of my life that hurts me the most- my helplessness.

Does no one realize that every time I rage, it's because I can't do anything else?? It's because I won't hit those who've hurt me, and I can't take anymore of my helplessness. I rage at myself, and you're just lucky enough to be around for it. *snarl*

Goodnight, and good riddance. If yo ucan't take the heat, get out of the kitchen, you wuss-bitches.

And if you read this, which you may or may not, and may or may not know who you are, just know that I'm concerned. That you have my full support and faith, and that I love you. Have, since I met you, and will, in the future.

No worries, mate, frineds are frineds... And that is what you are.

I should be studying chem, for the quiz I have in an hour, or looking over my lab, or praying it doesn't rain becuase I have to clean the barn later. But what am I doing instead? I am... stressed. I need Maalox, and it's one of those moments, where I could probably drink a bottle of it, because this problem isn't going away with one sip. Funny, that's probably what he say... But it won't go away with a whole bottle, either...

You know, I have this thing about screwed up... things. I used to think it was just with animals- I mean, I walk into a barn or house, and for some reason, I can always pick out the most fucked up animal there, and given enough time and free will, make friends with it, and usualy retame it.

But, it's with people, too... But I'm not good at taming people. I tend to jsut sit there and stare, and think to myself, "I wish I could do somehting to make you feel better,but what?" Because unlike an animal, it doesn't take a little time and lots of kindness and patience. Peoeple take all that and sooooo much more.

Crystal and I had this discussion about Cheetah... And we decided the reason why I feel myself attracted to fucked up people, is because I'm really, really fucked up on some level. This isn't a joke, do I sound like I'm joking? I'm dead serious. What I mean is, There is some part of me that feels like everything I do isn't real, isn't the real me, isn't who I am. And if I ever let out that side of me, people would automatically shun and disparage(Is that the right word? It sounded good...) me. And so... I keep it tied back. But anyway... We decided that for some reason, these things migrate toward me because they can feel it- that fucked up spot- and they recognize it, but they can also feel that I learned how to deal with it... successfully. They're curious, on a deep-down level.

So anyway... I hate watching people who I love, for whatever reason, be sofucked up. I know everyone's got a spot of screwyness, but I hate the -real- fucked up parts. And the fact that I jsut watched one of the people I would definitely call a friend, for no other reason than the fact that he makes me very happy, be so fucked up... it's weighing heavily on my heart. Because I want to help, and I can't.

And I htink I need to get my arse moving.. class in 15 minutes and I ahven't gottten dressed yet! AHHHHHH!!!

I find myself in unfamiliar territory, awake and kicking at 1 am. Crazy. I'm never up at this time, and awake enough to function.

Studying Bio and strangely enough, tlaking to Matt. And I jsut got kissed by John. A definitely weird night. I'm not sure what to think about this... I'm very confused.

Wow... I feel horrible. I'm not sure how this happened. It seems like events jsut conspired against me, in a most devious way. First, Naomi's blogger hasn't been seen by me in months, becuase the link I had in my favorites thing hasn't worked since she told me she was putting up a new layout, so her blog wouldn't work for a bit... Prolly baout 2 months ago. So... I kept checking back and it never worked. If it had worked, I would have known about all the crap that was going on in the MT while I was at school. I never go to the MT during school... Vacations and weekends when I have nothing else to do, definitely. But not during the week during school. So... I had no idea that it was going up in flames, and that my pal was in hte middle of it. Was the focus point of hte firefight. WTF, mate!!

When I went back at the beginning of last week, I was amazed to find so much tension and anger and... mutinous thought going on. INSANE SHIT!! Like, truly fucking INSANE! Who would have thought that Naomi was a heinous bitch? Not I... And you want to know Why, my darlings? BECAUSE SHE'S NOT!!! A bitch, maybe, at times, when deserved, but to be truly heinous, sneaky, cunning, backstabbish? Oh, get off it. You're fucking crazy.

It really, REALLY pisses me off how much of this insanity I could have at least fought against, if I HAD ONLY KNOWN ABOUT IT!!!! Goddammit. Stupid fucking things. I'm reading back through the past 2 months of her blogger, and I want to hit something. Half the things that went on with the MT, to her, are things I could have at least... done -something- about. --Anything.-- To have people you truly care about and call friends ditch you, hurts. Like a bugger. I wouldn;t wish it on anyone, especially someone who didn't do the things accused.

Granted, I pretty much did it, myself, when she told me, but... that's me. Naomi is my home-girl. And that's all there is to it. If you say you didn't do it, I believe you and will defend you to death. I'm sorry I let you down, I let you fall without a net. I guess we're all human, huh?

PS... On hte accident, Ouch. I think we basically went over this yesterday, but Ouch. Keep popping the vicodan and make sure you don't get your cast wet- smells ICKY!!