OMG... I was so cute this morning. Even I will admit to being cute sometimes... I had on my bro's old snowhat that doens't fit him anymore. It pulled down ot my eyebrows and past my ears, so my hair was puffy underneath. Then, on top of that, I had on the giant green sweatshirt I so favor, and a pair of jeans that have major holes in the arse, with a pair of black spandex underneath. So hott! haha

then, I had my puppy- YES, SPRITE!!! On a leash and I was popping around in sneakers and it was so cute! I worked with Dad from 10-3, then we put up the Christmas tree in my living room, and now I'm going bed... I cleaned my room, made food, put food away, and a few other things in between, but I am going to bed. I'm tired. And I hav eto be DD tonight... Icky.

I hope tonight is warmer than today was... Brrr... Oh yeah, and I walked the 6 blocks to the library and the bank, because I can't afford gas. haha Yay me!

Mmm... My bed...

I had to shovel the driveway today. the guys drove up and were like... Oh! We would've done it! I really don't think they realize that shoveling 15*7 square feet of blacktop is really the least of my worries. I can do it boys, no worries. hehe

That driveway is going to be a BITCH this winter. Especially is the plow boys are as efficient as they were today. I mean, if you can't drive in the streets, where are you going to get the momentum to drive up this shitty little driveway?

Thank you, m'dear for fixing my car. I greatly appreciate it. hehe Now I don't have tp pull over and spray my windshield with a spray bottle... haha Appreciado mucho. Un juego? Si, mi chico, si. Juegos estan muy divertido. (My Spanish sucks. I'm amazed I can remember stuff from 4 years ago, personally.) BTW... Splash Canvas is... not as good as I thought they would be. I'm going to go listen to them after I'm done writing, but as I half- listen to them now, I'm not really feeling it.

Laura! Where are you!? I never see you anymore?! Are you going to the partay tomorrow? OF COURSE YOU ARE!!! You're going to be my navigator. Because I love you sitting shotgun. And because I'm going to make you find me parking in Providence. LoL


What else, what else?! I've got nothing. the post below was edited, I did feel horrible after writing it. Whatcha gonna do? I'm a horrible person, LoL

I swear there is something wrong with me. I mean, the littlest thing can throw me into a RAGE!! A full-blown, screaming-meemie, fist-throwing, rage. And I jsut had one., I'm in the midst of the tail end of it right now. And I know, I just know I'm going to regret everything I wrote in about... 20 minutes. When I read it back and take it down nice and quietly because I wrote things hurtful and cruel and completely true at that moment. Like this- I wrote this away message in the crest of my rage blackout, and it was only the edited versio nthat appeared, because evidently, AIM has a limit on the number of characters that can be shown. Here, my friends, is the full original version, because I am stillin my rage-stage and... honestly, I want to remind everone just how fucking horrible I can be when you get me evil-pissed. I want to key your car, rip your banner, and stick gum in your computer fan vent. Fortunately, I am a functioning memeber of society, so I wil ltake it out quietly on myself. I will get ulcers and be very very angry for a very short time, while I write horrible things that everyone can read while I've forgotten it';s there, and... well... Whatever!

Oh yes... Quite angry. Calming down more by the second, but still quite angry. Do you think it's your job to make me hate you? I mena, I jsut don't udnerstand. You are certianly on the right track. With every one of these rages you send me into, it's that much easier hte next time. And you wonder why I cringe and never know when to run and hide. Because everything goes so well, and then it's like... *SMACK*

God... This is so ridiculous. LoL Yes, I actually did crack a smirk on that. At myself. Because... Do you know how fcked up this is? Kevin and Matt were joking around about taking my Transiberian Orchestra tickets that I managed to snag for my parents, and I knew they were kidding, but I got to ANGRY because seriously... When it comes to my parents, just... unless you want to die, you better not say anything even remotely bad.

I never know when you're serious! You do things sometimes, that I could've sworn you wouldn't do, so I never know when you're being serious. Never. The lily thing today? I'm absolutly positive it will never come to fruition- especially after tonight. Darn, and I was so excited about that. Fuck. Way to go, Abs. But these tickets... yOU got that serious tone and look, and it was all over. The reason why I got up and left so quickly? Tears of frustration. There was no way in hell you were seeing me cry over something I knew was retarded- so I left, and cried, and got pisse dbecause I cried because you were being an ass and carrying it too far, and... I exploded.

These tickets... I swear, I try to buy my way into favor, and these tickets are like gold. Not only that... My parents- they've been through so much with my brother, that I will do -anything- to make them smile even for a moment. ANYTHING. Look, I'm crying again. Stupid Abby cries over anything. And you, even though I was nearly positive you were kidding, that 1% of doubt threw me over the edge.

And the whole thing about me "sobbing"... Waaaay too far. In fact, let's take it back a step and say that if you ever threaten me again, you are not to come into this house or near me ever again. I would give up Josh and Beth and Ray and Dave and everyone who I've come to really like and enjoy their company, just to avoid you. Completely uncalled for and... don't do it. I know you never would, but putting up that "tough guy" image and refusing to back down, just doesn't work. You don't have to be whatever it is you're trying to be, all the time.

I would like to think I know you well enough to say you'd never do it, but refusing to let it go when there's no one around scares me. It's like my mom telling me I'm second best even when he's not around- just... what is the point? Are you deliberately trying to hurt me?

Oy. I'm rational now and already cursing myself for writing half this shit, but this is my journal. Some of it should probably be in the SB, and when my headache goes away enough for me to read it over, I will C&P those parts away. For now, whoever reads this, take the above with a grain of salt and don't worry- I got it. I can handle it. I dont need help taking care of myself, and if I do, I'll ask.

Argh. I jsut called Sherri and she doesn't want a rider until spring. Bah. Poop. And all that crap. Darn... I was kinda excited about that... Damn.

Meh, not toooo much going on, had a great time at lunch with Kevin and Josh the other day- hilarious. I love Josh's accent. It cracks me up- even more when I try to imitate it for stories, haha He has this theory i want to hear, LoL I'm going to get it out of him one of these days, LoL

Had a good time with Matt the past couple days- I'm just never sure what to think, LoL But, taking it a day at a time, it's been cool the past couple days. After making sure he knew I was not happy and then explaining most of it out, it's better. I understand what Josh was saying, and it's alright. Deal one day at a time, right? Right.

OMG... Dave jsut showed my this AWESOME video from college humor. Duuuude... Slip 'n Slide! Go play, it's hilarious! heheh I'm watching it again....

Okay, I'm done. Gotta go do my copious amounts of work. Copious, from the latin root, copia, copiae, f. meaning plenty. Or, copiae copiarum, f. troops, supplies.

Maybe not> Meh... That's why I'm going to fail my Latin exam in a week. AHHH!!!

I laugh, and it turns caustic; bitter even when I had meant it to be light. I wonder if Dave shakes his head when I come back from these visits. I inevitably come back more tightly wound than when I left. I wonder if he ever regrets living with me and my insanity. Probably. I would if I were them.

I sometimes wonder whether I'll ever find someone who I can get along with for more than 2 weeks. I'm beginning to think not. You'd have to be psychic, along with sweet and good-looking (C'mon now, a girl can wish, right??). Psychic... Oy. Or just be willing to communicate at all. *shakes head* Yeah... I don't think so. I'm going to be a cat-lady. You know, the old woman who lives in the shack with her 80 or so cats?? Yeah, now you got it.

It's the end of the semester, thank God. I am so ready to just throw my hands up and give up, I always know when the semester is coming to an end. I get so careless. I jsut can't be bothered to CARE anymore. I'm so tired of everything!

I always want to go home, because home is where things are supposed to be good, right? where the bad shit is supposed to go away. So, how come when I walk up the front stairs, I wish I could turn around and run back home. Yes, home. As in Narragansett, with boys who torture me and make me cry, homework that confuses and annoys me, and no mommy to go running to when I have a bad day. What happened to my home!? Where has it gone?! At this rate, the snowbank is looking like an adequate place to rest my head- at least I would ahve bigger worries than this headache that is threatening to rip my skull in two. At least dad is driving me home... I hope nothing bad happens between now and then.