So, yeah... Graduated! Woot! I don't really feel any different, and I can't wait to see what my grades are like, but whatever!! I'm outta there! WOOOT!!!! Oh baby oh baby oh baby... LoL

Graduation was a scream-fest and as with always in my class, we screwed it (graduation crap) up a few times, LoL But on the whole, it was okay, and I'm so glad to ahve been in the class of 2004. I think it's jsut one of those things that comes about after signing everyone's yearbook at 3 in hte morning, when you're wicked emo and nothing is ever bad. LoL Trust me... It makes signing things really really lovey... Heh. Sorry Jesse and Aims... I'm like... WHOA!

I really did get to say some things that needed to get said, like how much I was going to miss Jeff Brannan, and he was real serious when he said he was going to miss me too... And Dubey's yearbook? HEH. I was trying for funny, but I think it came out more as, "Dude, I'm desperate." LoL What do you expect? I'm a girl who never stays up past 10 pm... heh

My cuz and I are going to visit Memere today, after whatever it is she went through. I need to get the scoop of whether she went through triple bypass or not. I'm never home to find out. And I definitely need to get the scoop on Dana. Shit... 40 weeks of chemotherapy? I'm going to send him a card. That guy is a peach. LoL

I really do hate how I never know what's going on, ever. Mainly because I'm never home enough to find out, but whatever... Who really needs to come home, right? huh.

Hung out with Crystal yesterday before graduation, and literally, we went everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!!! LoL From Glocester to the beach (beach? hah) to Echo Lake Campgroud to Lindsey's to math, to off-roading, to running through the woods in my little khaki skort. WHOO!! I was such an outdoorsy looking chica yesterday in my tiny khaki skirt and red and blue striped shirt. Oh man. Don't even want to think how ridiculous that was... heh

Hmm... I have to go talk to Dennis and tell him no more weekends scheduled for me. LoL Great... That'll go over like a sack of rocks. Woot!

LoL You know you're tired when you zone out and find yourself twitching the mouse roller screan thingy in time to Venga Boys... LMAO I was wondering why my screen was rolling up and down... LoL

I"m tlakign to the love of my life,
the Capparella I want to hold tight,
the everything I wanted in life,
TCAPP!

LoL Great poem I made for someone special... WOOT WOOT! Heh... Okay, so a bittersweet ending to the ngiht. My pal is out drinking, which I can understand, but this is not good for me. I can't stay up worrying about some kid I don't even know. And becuase I hate being like this, I'm not. I'm gonna go do my English. *sneaks off* But I'll leave this open, in case some other random thought comes to me. heh *really sneaks off this time*

I'm back. A random thoguht came to me. I'm exhausted, and he's not even going to be in school tomorrow, and seriously... I need to go to bed. And I can't... Not yet... a Few more minutes, mom... Please, no... *falls on the keyboard, dead to the world*

Ever had that feeling where the world is just not any fun anymore? Where you jsut want to sleep all day, read your books about other's more exciting lives, and hide from anyone who is your friend, who cares about you, for fear they might ask you how you are? The only escape is music played so loud all you can do is sing along and lsoe yourself, or running so hard all you can concentrate on is breathing and not falling?

Have you ever wanted to jsut scream so loud and let everyone know jsut what you thought ebcause it might jsut be the only day you can do it? It may be the last day of your life and you won't ever know it. What the hell...

If you couldn't tell, there was another death in paradise, and a guy I know was paralyzed, all in hte same deally. Racing along, and they lsot control, and now the world is all topsy turvy, and I don't know which way is up. Should I be heading for the blue or the green? Clouds or grass? My mind knows which way, but my feet aren't working right. And yet I can still write these dumb sentences about what the hell I'm feeling, even while a kid younger than me is lying in a freezer, waiting for his box, the only thing he's got to look forward to, to arrive. Shit.

And I can't even utter what's deep down, for fear that it may be reality, because it seems that all those things you think about really do happen, so you cringe and wonder whether there is such a thing as fate or destiny, and whether you really can influence things simply by thinking about it. You know you can't, but sometimes, jsut sometimes, hte things you fear most come true, and you're forced to confront it.

R.I.P. JR
Josh, we're with you man, pull through.

I think I'm going crazy, and there is no God to help me. I msut help myself, right, Joe? Shit. I can't even imagine how badly families must feel. To be 16 and dead is terrible, it could only be an accident. Oh jesus...

My thoughts and prayers are with those families in their hours of need, I jsut hope that they know everyone's there with them, hoping and praying, cursing and crying, waiting for the new day to approach, when life seems to make more sense, where sisters don't bury brothers and parents don't bury kids. Jeez...

Happy Graduation seniors... Maybe we can pull through and learn from this. Maybe we can unite in the hour of need, because we need to be together to get through this.