I'm really tired right now. I'm going to bed in a few. and yes, I know it's early. But I have to be at work for 8 tomorrow morning, so back the f off. LoL

Saw him this weekend and... there's nothing there. Like... nothing. Friends? Yeah. Probably. Close friends? No. There was no flirtation, no contact, no nothing... And honestly, I'm sick of being the only one to initiate. So fuck it. I'm done.

I'm really tired. My Guy pretty much just... broke me this weekend. The look in his eyes just before he went into seizures was... heartbreaking. He was so scared... His eyes were rolling and his tongue wouldn't work and his legs were starting to seize, and then... he wasn't there anymore. But I'm glad I stayed and talked to him, told him he would be okay... I think everyone should know they're going to be okay, that even if they're not okay right now, they will be.

I couldn't stop crying... I did, but I didn't want to. I'm crying right now just thinking about it. He went to his old stall, laid down, and died... Doesn't this tell you something? Doesn't this tell you that horses have brains and emotions connected to memories? HWy else would he go to the same stall he lived in 10 years earlier?? Why not any other damn stall??