I have discovered, with the intense pursuit of thought only encouraged by those first adventurers to the North Pole, or perhaps the brilliant wayfarers that discovered North America, that Burrillville runs at a slower pace than here. A step down in excitement, I admit, but still a discovery nonetheless.

Now, why, you ask, should I be concerned with that? And how in the -heck- did I first come up with this ridiculous theory?

Weeelll... I was thinking about this awesome weekend, and how it's going to be so awesome because of all the people in it who absolutely adore and who must absolutely adore me back, because they wwant me to be a part of their weekend! Yay for SB, and Ala!!! Yay for my bro and parentals! Yay for g-rents and whatnot!!! hehehehehe

I was thinking how I was possibly going to wake up on Sunday for like.. .waht... 5:30, to drop my g-rents off at the airport, when I was hanging with SB and Ala the niht before, and it came to my attention, that... I wasn't worried. Wouldn't be, because somehow or other, I would get enough sleep. WEird, huh? Now, why, I asked my tired brain, is this conclusion so positively anchored in my head?

It is because, said my brain, Burrillville runs at a slower pace than you currently do. You never used to wrry about sleep, because Burrillville shuts down at 10 at night, with the exception of Dunkin Donuts, which is open until 11. And then the town is closed... Until 6 am the next morning. Cute, huh?

I miss Burrillville... I miss being a bad kid and driving around Pascoag after all the stores are dim, I miss Crystal and Cat and late nights with my hooligan friends, and most of all, I miss the quiet. I miss the quiet that you could find, as long as you walked far enough in one direction, you would find it. Guaranteed. Could take you a bit- Less than an hour, guaranteed, but you would find quiet. Around here, it's harder to come by. Maybe I jsut don't know the spots. Or maybe I don't have the time to look. Either way, I miss the quiet.

Meh, I'm romanticizing it, I know. But, it's at points like these, when you're going home and you aren't sure that there aren't parties you're going to be missing, or things to do and people to see, that it's good to sit down, muse a bit, romanticize the place, and remember what things you used to enjoy about it, that are totally and completely possible, right now.

I can't wait to go home.

I am so excited Seth is coming home this weekend. Like... Jump up and down and scream, excited. CRAZY excited. haha I'm -not- excited about the fact that I have to be in Warwick for 8:30 tomorrow morning, but... whatever, right?

Things are good, W.P. Abby hasn't shown her ugly face, so we're doing pretty well... I'm praying she stays away until I can find some other distraction, at least.

Hockey tonight!! Whee!!! I'm excited! I love hockey! It's going to be great. Me and Kate, as far as I know, go to a hockey game! I should bring my camera... I used to take tons of pictures at hockey games... They never came out good, but I loved to take them, haha

I'm really tired. I think I may take a nap before going to the game with Ms. Kate. Maybe I'll eat something, too... Eating food generally helps. I haven't eaten anything more then 2 granola bars, a handful of pumpkin seeds, and a bite of Josh's Subway sandwich. Darn... I'm not hungry, either... I htink there's something wrong with me, LoL

I really need to stop with the ...'s. My new goal. STOP THE ...'S!!! hehehe Good luck with that one. YAY MY BROTHER'S COMING HOME!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!!

Well... I guess it's a good thing my mind was made up for me, huh? LoL Probably for the best, anyway... *shrugs* A bit sad, but at least truthful, right? Right?? I suppose now I can finally get myself one of those long-haired emo kids that I so looooove! haha Maybe he'll wear crazy clothes and have lots of band stickers... Maybe not. I know nothing about lots of bands... He might be like Joe-- completely likeable, yet completely untouchable until they run over a dog and cry. Poor Joe. I remember how bad that was... I think the start of Operation Shutdown Abby...

Anyway... Way to ramble, huh? Yeah. So... Yup. It's been over for at least a week. We just made it official last night. Whatever "it" was, since it never really got a name, anyway. Meh.. Good deal.

Oy. I don't even know what my thoughts are on the matter. And I'm not allowed to provoke him, says Kevin... Which we all know I love to do. heh I need to be nice, because Kevin will kill me. Oy. Stupid Kevin.

I don't know... I jsut don't know... *pout, whine, pine* Is it me, or is it real?? Am i being told it's okay, or is it me just wwanting it to be okay? Goddamn... You can't deny the hell I went though over the weekend and last week. But... My mom did laugh at that stuff, and... well... My mom is usually right. *le sigh* Meh... I suppose I'll take it a day at a time and feel it out.

Besides, my dream told me to. LMAO

Yeha, my dream, cutting to the chase: I was joking around with Finn, teasing him a bit, and being the very unhumorous, literal kid that he is, he took it seriously, and went running to his mom, screaming about, "Mom!! Abby's making fun of me again!! make her stop!" or something to that effect. And I protested, "Finn... I was just teasing you! It's a sign of affection! I only do it to people I -like-, who I think can handle it and know I'm kidding!" Aunt Heather looked me directly in the eye, "Some people think that teasing is a defense mechanism to hide what they're really thinking." I brushed it off with, "Well, that -could- be it, but Pssshhhh..."

I remember waking up thinking, -Affection-. Like... it was the answer. The rest of the dream was not as important as what I said, and what Aunt Heather said. Meh. I suppose we'll see.

Carolyn thinks I'm psychotic. And I'm pretty sure everyone else will too. But seriously, guys... You know I'm the most indecisive person ever, and well... I'm kinda psychotic myself. LoL

Who knows, maybe I'll just... choke on some mac n cheese and not worry about it?? LoL

First off...



HAPPY HALLOWEEN!



Linds, can I just reiterate how much you have my support and love all the time, but especially now, when I know you need it? If you need anything, anytime, call me and I will jump to! You are amazing, and I know you did what was necessary.

On that note: This is an exercise in futility. I'm sure you've already recognized it, and I'm sorry that it has taken me this long. You need time and space, and a fuck-buddy. I'm sorry... I don't provide any of the above. I really liked you, I still do. But I won't do this to myself. You hurt me one too many times, in too short a period. I guess it just wasn't meant to work. "Cut the ties, girl." Goodbye, Matt.

As for Halloween, because I hate ending on a depressed note, I made a very cute Naughty Schoolgirl, pictures in the photoblog. Leave me comments, tell me how cute I am! haha If you want to pledge your undying love, that'd be great, too! haha I sure would appreciate a vote of confidence right now! I love halloween... I love the origins of the holiday, I love the atmosphere, I only wish that the attitude we had as kids- anticipation mixed with a certain delicious fear- could stay even when we get older. Approaching houses all lit up, never quite certain what's going to happen- a plain old house, or are ghouls behind the trees?! How much fun can you have?? And after, getting to eat a bag full of candy, bringing it to schoo lto share with friends, eating yourself into a tizzy ball of energy and Mom yelling at me to go outside if I was going to tear the house apart! I miss being a little kid on Holidays... hehe But I get to give out treats this year... Could be, fun, too! haha