Mmmm... Last night was fun! Even without a sleepover party after! Dad took me out to dinner, as payback for waking me up and making me bring him my Windows CD... The Mews was awesome, as we all know it is. I love that place.It reminds me of how Gus's Red Tavern used to be, before it went down hte drain... Or Western. Though I must admit, those damned singing buzzards crack me up. They're ridiculous!! haha I really like the whole atmosphere of the place- laid back, but still really awesome food and people. Good deal, huh?

Then I came back to the house, slept until 11, when Kate woke me up with, "Abby, when are you getting over here?!" And so I got dressed, agreed on Kevin's cover story as to why he -wasn't- going, and headed out the door to Meg, Josh's gf's house. Unfortunately, we only stayed like... 20 minutes. Or, that's how long I stayed, anyway. I guess Linnae and Kate were there longer. Who knows? Anyway... Josh is hilarious, I love the kid. I need to start making friends at these parties, instead of being the wallflower- I mean, since when am I the wallflower?! Geez.

So, then they dragged me to the IEP party, where Linnae had a gorgeous boy with a Sexy Spanish Accent (From SPAIN!!) coveting her body, and... It was fun! It was more fun after I had Jeremy, my buffer, to hang out with. I love the kid. I really don't know why we fight so much, maybe because we're EXACTLY ALIKE... Maybe. Just maybe I'm hitting on something there. LoL I don't know. I missed him though. He's a good boy. He wished me sweet dreams last night! I was like... Awww!!! I miss you Jeremy!!! :) <--- Smiley face for you, boy! hah

I love sleeping on couches. I love sleeping on couches more when I have enough blankets to stay warm all night, instead of reverting to covering up with a blanket and pillows... haha Dude, I'm like cold-blooded, waht were you thinking only giving me one blanket?!

And... hahah... I am such a slut. A lovin' whore, is the term that I affectionately call myself deep inside my own headd- and now here! *shakes head* I need to make up my mind about what I want, because I am pinging around like a bouncy ball, and not only is it confusing and aggravating the shit out of me, I'm pretty sure everyone aound me is feeling the effects, too. Sorry guys... One of these days I will not be quite so volatile as I am... *hangs head* Meow....
I love you? Please deal with me? I don't know... Go hang me in the closet by my toes. That could hasten the process... or, every time I change my mind, use a stun gun on me. That might work, too. *nod nod* Maybe. Okies... Shower time! Adios!

OMG... Last night was... bad. Hilarious, but bad. Mainly the aftermath of stupid things I did. LoL The worst part of these bad things being that I don't remember WHAT THEY WERE!!!! Eesh.

And before I got trashed? That was possibly worse than after. Oh man... The things I said. I don't remember any specifics, all I get is a feeling of utter shittiness. Fantastic. Absolfuckinglutely fantastic.

I'm having problems... I don't really miss him, I mean... A month? Who misses someone after a month? But every once in a while, I get these urges to just... go see him, talk to him, bug him, whatever. And when I try to resist, it gets nasty- I have no willpower. At all.

But most of the time, like now, it's like something that I can jsut float on by and be like... Meh. I'm going out to dinner with my dad, Yay! No pissiness for the next hour, at least! LoL

Kate, you missed out... We're going to the Mews/Muse/howeveryouspellit... hahah MUAH!

I was doing my hair this morning (by "doing", we all know I mean doing as little as possible to make it even somewhat managed looking) and noticed that in the front, there are these little waves that you would never see because there's a layer of hair on top that just blots them out and covers them up. Then, I liftd this little curtain of hair and saw, lo and behold!, a whole head of glorious curls, hidden under a blanket of limp and blah-ish hair. How wonderful. I always knew that it was there, but I never thought of ever thinking about it, before. I wish I had.

It's like the underneath beneath hte underneath. haha So just stole that line from Kakashi, from Naruto. LoL What a frieking hoot. But really... It's like a metaphor for people. I wonder if people's hair all over resembles the underneath the underneath of them? What an interesting question. Kind of like if your name reflecs who you are, simply because it's a name and therefore it has an impact? Interesting little thought, huh?

I suppose it could, because both name and hair are part of you, your environment, the subtle things that you live with constantly, can't really get away from. A name you hate could make you choose to be called by another name, and nicknames probably arry more weight than that other name, but who knows? Dude... Now I wanna look it up and see!! Let's go check it out.

Okay, here goes:
From Zodiacal Zephy

Abby:
You are adventurous with a tendency to be foolhardy. You are aggressive and definitely have leadership abilities. You are a constructive thinker. You have a need for monetary security. There is a need to learn flexibility; a need to find your own identity. Your independence and freedom are important to you.


Michele:
You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.

Guy:
You strive for perfection and worry when things don't turn out just so. You enjoy doing a job well. You tend to procrastinate. You are soft-hearted with a charitable nature. You must learn to give the same freedom to others that they want for themselves.

Now the real name...

Abigail:
You are adventurous with a tendency to be foolhardy. You are aggressive and definitely have leadership abilities. You are a constructive thinker. You have a need for monetary security. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job. You have a need to be up front. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you.


Michele:
You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You need to learn to give and receive love for love's sake. You have a need to be assured of affection. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You must learn the lessons of self-worth; learn to love yourself before you can love others. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.


Guy:
You are a hard worker when you make up your mind to do a job. You are soft-hearted with a charitable nature. Your independence and freedom are important to you.


Hmm... they say the same things for different names, though some of it

Okay... New info on the scene. That last post will stay because... well, I write what I want, when I feel it, and I can rescind it, or emphasize it at any point. Don't like it? Well... Meh, then. As in... Don't read it. Contents can be explicit in any way I please. Got it? good.

Besides that, it's good. I like it. It's a good piece of writing.

I rescind some of last night's things, most maybe not all, but most. Evidently I sound like a chipmunk when I eat popcorn with my mouth open. haha

I hate the way you play with me,
The way you pretend to care.
Or even like me.
I hate the way you seem so sweet,
You kiss me goodbye
You leave me for a
Stupid game.
I hate the way I'm nothing,
Nothing at all to you.
I hate the way you still love
her, and nothing
Can change it.
Can you tell how much I hate it?
Can you see?
I hate the way you see through me
See to the love and lust and
Sheer energy that is
Me.
I love the way you play,
Rough and sweet,
Sooo sweet.
Don't paly me with me.
Yes, do it. NO!
YES GODDAMMIT YES!!

Demanding?
No.
Quiet?
No.
Sweet?
Hell no.
Cheap?
No.
Caring?
No.
Do you care?
No.
Why should you?
Can i answer a question with a question?
Yes.
Piss off, but never leave... I hate my own indecision.. .I hope you read this, read the absolute want, the -need- for you and your kindnesses, the absolute hate, for you and how you make me feel so... disposable. Does it hurt? Does it fucking sting and burn and make you want to wince? Good. I hope it does, so you know how I feel every time you speak to me..

Does it make you hot and bothered, ready to jump on and make my eyes roll back, the unutterable sounds break free into the cool night air? Good. Know me. Know my mind, my soul, my body. Know me.

I hate you, I need you, I want to jump out an open window and fly...

Speak to me, boy. Speak to me, tell me what you want, tell me how to be. Just SPEAK TO ME. Or not. Goodnight.