It really was a bad day. Swear to God. So, anyway...

Um, not much news. I haven't talked to Nick lately, mainly because I keep running around, missing him, and secondly, because he's never home!!!! Darn him to hell! LoL j/k! But, really, on a serious note, I kind of need to straighten some stuff out with him, because we keep hitting and missing each other. *shakes head* I feel bad not going to the beach today, but Oh man... I hate the beach. It's jsut not for me. LoL But, I really do want to go to the party tomorrow night. I like parties... heh (Now how does this happen, when one does not drink/smoke/etc. etc.?)

I got a bathing suit today. I was frieking out, because I hate bathing suits, then I stepped back, took a deep breath, and was like... Dude, you're not a supermodel, ie. bulimic, anorexic, etc, so quit beating on yourself because you're not a toothpick. But, I am glad it's over, although after I did that, i was fine and picked one out that I really like. So anyway... i'm not saying I'm fat (I hate it when not-fat girls call themselves fat jsut so others will tell them so.) or anything, it's just... I'm not Ala or katie tiny. Deal with it. *shrugs* I'm good now. It's red. With white things. LoL

Anyway... Senior Play is kick ass. I'm so excited. And that's all I can tell you. Buy tickets off of me!!! heh

Big fight with my bro about his friends littering, I guess. (About the topic, not the fight. There was definitely a fight. definitely.) *shrugs* Whatever. He apologized after mom and da bitched him out... It wasn't me, I swear, I even tried to stop them. But, he was sorry, so we're cool. No biggie. though being called names I've never even heard before was definitely not a boost to my self-esteem. And now, becuase I'm a fat kid, it's time to eat. heh Go me!

My hair's all wet. I jsut took a shower. heh... And it's fun to play wiht becuase it's cool and slick and shiny... Oooooh... *chews on it* Hah, Mike, I got to it before you!!!!

PS. Just kidding about that eating the hair thing... gross!

Not to be melodramatic or anyhting, but this could possibly be one of the worst days of my life. I probably won't remember it in 2 weeks, but it seemed life-threatening today... Still does, really. So, i woke up, took a shower, and pondered the AP Calc exam I was to have at 8 am... No Big.

Then, my mom got up and started yelling at me for wearing my headphones, which I was using to listen to some music to keep cool. And it went downhill from there. All thw ay to school, which mom had my car for, may I add, she yelled at me for various things, most of which I couldn't help at that previous moment, so by hte time I got to school I was angry, nervous, and so shaky from being wound up, I was ready to scream at anything.

Got into homeroom and was okay... Dealing. Then Ms. D came down the ahllway, and started telling me about how the team sucks and we're gonna ahve hell for practice today, and oh yeah, I have to be at the meet on Saturday, and we have practice tomorrow, yah dee fucking dah. So... I just kind of... sank to the floor in front of her, and hid my face in my knees. AP Calculus, and she understood and left me alone, at which point Nick walked by and jsut stared at me for a moment. Whatever...

So, I get into Calc right after homeroom, and right away, I look around... No calculator. I just break down and start crying... And sure enough, Corey looks over and makes it known to the whole room, which jsut makes it so much worse, and I started bawling. Mosher threw everyone out and told me that I need to take a break from work, which is killing my schedule. I need to have fun the last weeks of Senior Year, and work is not helping me. So... She's right. I've had to kill soemthing from my life, or I'm going to burn out. Well... today wa sburn out day. Anyway... the exam wasn't half so bad... I failed.

So, I go home after the chem period, where he gave us a practice AP exam. (Talk about day from hell, right?) I get there and zonk out on the couch. My mom gets home and immediately starts screaming, and I'm jsut like.. I need to go to practice, so... she has to go to court for bro, and drops me off at 2:15 for a 3:00 practice. Woot! I have a blanket, bag of food, book, and sweatshirt. So, I curled up in a ball and fell asleep until 3. LoL And practice was hell, and my throat constricted and I nearly blacked out. So... No more practice... heh And now I'm off to Senior Play. Buy your tickets off me!!! heh Luv ya!

I think I've figured out my whole problem with drama and whatnot- it's usually about something so stupid, you can't really get upset over it, so you make drama to turn it into a bigger problem, so you can get upset over it. *nods* Maybe this is why people have drama. Because everyday life is boring, you need something to make it better, so... enlarge a problem, blow it up, and there you go! Something to look forward to at the end of the day. Some problem to overcome, to make one feel like they've actually accomplished something. *shrugs* Hey... Whatever floats your boat, dude. So long as I'm not involved, I don't care. Heh

Anyway... This morning, Lindsey left this stupid little away message up, and I got pissed. Like, not huge pissed, but enough to make me get up & call Lindsey's message machine and say something really dick on there. *snorts* I'm so immature. Then, 2 minutes later, I got up, called her again, and said what I had really wanted to say in the first place and made myself feel better, though she probably hates me for yanking the wind out of her sails. *shrugs* Eh, whatcha gonna do? Anyway... I was very proud of myself for calming down so fast (heh) and admitting i was wrong, then asking for forgiveness, and ultimately, leaving it up to her to decide whether she wants me for a friend or not.

I'm kind of afraid that she'll decide she doesn't care if we're friends or not.

Yeah Crystal and I, discussing heartfelt things in the river park last night. How we hate boys for making us twisted, how I really jsut want to say what's on my mind but feel like I can't, how everyone thinks they're alone at one point, and how silly teenagers are, in general. And who we wished, if we had to give up our lives, we could be. I think she nearly choked when I told her I wished I could be Lindsey. *nods* Yup.

*quits nodding, stops being so damned serious-defense mechanism time! OH YEAH!!!* So, oh baby, 4 CD's for 20 bucks! Sick nasty used CD's! heheh can you beleive it? They gave Chumbawamba away for 1.99! Who does that!? LoL

And, I went from 31.3 to 32.6 seconds. Fricken A. I hate running in sneakers. They're so heavy... I need to start running again, seriously. I died in the race today. Sucks like whoa.

Bothering factors:
1.) Lindsey
2.) Catfish
3.) Horsies
4.) School
5.) The fact that I misse dhte Kentucky Derby today. Fucking SHYT!