Alright, well... It is getting to be that time of year again. Time to pack up and get going, move out and head home.

I can't wait. I'm so excited, I'm packing right now.

This year, in review, has been one large complex event. All roads lead to nowhere and everywhere at once. Each place where things could be different, you realize that it wouldn't be anything but what it is, no matter where it went.

I'm jsut hoping that summer corrects those things that need to be corrected, heals those wounds that are in desperate need of a soft touch, and allows for forgiveness to be given to those that need it.

I also hope that anger is replaced with humor, selfishness gives way to warmth, and spite is cleaved from the spirit.

I was just reminiscing with Miss Katrina about the differences between 1st semester and this one, and... they're amazing. For the first 4 months, this house was one community, all doors open to all, video games were played and laughed about, TV shows were shared, food was an excuse for community gatherings, and the kitchen a place of warmth and laughter. These are things sorely missed, and I'm not sure how they went missing, what sucked the life from this dismal existence.

I've changed. I know this. My heart is now more tempered, my romantic edge dulled and my defenses honed to a keen edge. Paranoia is my new friend, though I'm inclined to wonder- if they're really against you, are you truly being paranoid? Maybe realism is my new bed-buddy. Many of the people I called friends are now kept at an arm's length, watched and scrutinized for cracks in the remaining facade of friendship, while others have been brought closer by mutual loss.

Granted, there are many wonderful things come out of this year- I have friends I wouldn't exchange for the world, old friends become new, and memories with no equal. More trouble, more fun, more emotion and thought have been mine this year, how can you regret any of it? Even when things were horrible, D-Cubed ruled my days and regret my nights, there are memories and people I will never forget. Laugh and cry about, but never forget, and never regret.

Thank you all for such a crazy, silly, exhausting, wonderful, heart-breaking year full of learning experiences, passion, stupidity, and most of all, life at its purest.

Naomi, this is for us and the good life. YAY!!!!!!

"Stuff it, half pint."

hahah That's RIIIIIIGHT up there with, "Keep your dog on a leash." *Cracks up* I love just thinking about it.... hhahahaahahahaha

You're no fun.
Loosen up.
Just kiss me.
Why're you always so tight?
There, that felt better.
Didn't that feel better?
What happened?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you mean that?
You are cruel.
Stop that!

65.
B-.
How can you sit there and not worry?
How are you so cool?
Things jsut don't bother you.
Smile, will ya?
There we go.
Sing.
You're really not worried.
Don't even tell me about tired.
You're so smart.
Let's go.


I don't know what that was all about. I jsut started writing excerpts of conversation. I've been talked at, down to, and through all week. I feel like I've been the victim of... people.

I think my greatest joy after finals is going to be... 1) drinking until I can't hear them talk anymore, and 2) after moving out, hiding for a month or so and doing nothing in which I have to face anyone. I'm going to go riding, heang with people that know me enough to know when to shut up, and... run. That's it. Work when I have to, and... we're going to do nothing. It's gonna be frieking fantastic.

Alright. I think I've said enough... LoL

It's time to go to bed, because this girl is getting cranky-tired. Not GOOD.

Okay, so you know those things that are just so incredibly horrible and yet awesome? This is one of them.

Free Candy!

I think I made a mistake, but I'm hoping it'll work out. I guess we'll find out, huh? And if not, then we know better for the future. But seriously, I'm sure it'll be juuuuust fine.

On that note, I really need to work on the whole self-confidence issue. As in, I have none. NONE!! LoL It was so bad in the pizza place tonight that I had high-schoolers picking on me!! I jsut collapsed because this guy was being an ass to me. Collapsed. Even Dave saw my face and how utterly panicked and ashamed I was, that he laid off and just tried to make me laugh on the way home. Thinking back, I want to cry. Why'd I let it happen? Why'd I just... lose it? It's been happening lately. I get into any new situation and lose any and all self-confidence. It's ridiculous! And then after, I think back and wonder, "How the HELL did that get away from me so quickly?" I should've turned to that girl and eyed her up and down in that cold, "I'm better than you'll ever be, bitch," way I can pretend and been like, "Did I ask for your input? No? Thought so. Stuff it, half-pint."
Much more nicely, of course. because I could never be mean like that. Hell, I might actually have to be witty, and we all know that doesn't happen. Jesus.

Or maybe, I shouldn't have wilted so visibly, giving them such an excuse to beat on me.

Oy. Just oy.

After reading that special book, I've decided that I don't want to be that person. You know, that person who gets beat up in whatever way, then defends the person because they're too afraid they can't do it on their own.

I've decided that I'm going to try something new. It's gonna be my goal- Do it because -I- want to do it, not because someone else wants me to.

Also- don't crumple. Don't wilt. Stand up and face it. I -can- do it, I -can-. I jsut have to believe it and not give up because... "Oh no. What if I can't?"

Alright, I'm done. By the way. I have decided that my camera shall be carried on me at all time, because cool shit happens all the time and I never have a chance to photograph it. Because I never have my camera!

Dude, exams suck. This is final. It is approximately 2 am and I am sitting up, watching Aliens 3, exhausted but refusing to sleep.

I jsut came back from the beach, the Rocks, and The Witch's Altar. hahah Cool places, all of them.

I think i may conk out on the couch... As in... g'night! hehe