I'm making a vow, right here and now, to see Wicked on the big stage- on Broadway. BAMPF!
Anyway... I've figured it out. Giving gifts is just as much, if not more, fun, than getting them. I am so excited about the stuff I got Cat for his bday... You don't even understand!! They're frieking GREAT!!! And since I'm really unsure as to whether he can read this or not, I'm not going to tell anyone what they are until later, becuase let me tell you, they are kickass! WOOT!
Friday, July 02, 2004
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Have you ever wondered what times were like in the past? What people lived for, what you might have been like, if you'd lived then? If you had a conscious recollection of a past life, what type of person would you have been? Are souls the same throughout the ages, picking up bits and pieces of information as they go along, filling out and shaping throughout their various lives in the flesh? Is there such thing as souls?
Back to the present questions, of which there are many. If you lived in the ages of honor and glory, where lives were won and lost because of reasons one could understand and fight for, not a slaughter in the name of some nameless entity which sends troops out, for reasons the fighters probably don't understand completely, or better yet, which is for sheer spite or gain, and there is nothing honorable in their intentions, would you be one of the honorable, that did not run from battle, but turned and faced it, vowing to do their best, even unto death?
Looking inside, I wonder whether I would be such a being, but do conclude that should I have lived in those times, and been brought up in those ways, I would have been honorable. I would have fought and died to my last breath and I would have given everything i had to the cause I beleived in.
And yet, I wonder if that should I be faced with such a decision in this life, would I do what I knew to be right and face my death head-on, or back away and lve for another day? I've lived by two very different, completely opposite, ideas. One being that you should stand up and fight for what you beleive in, as long and as hard as you can, unyielding and unbending, the other being to live and fight another day. And they both make sense, which makes me beleive that it is jsut two very different customs and mindsets that set these two ideas into motion.
What do we live for in these days? Seriously, I spent at least a few days contemplating this question, and decided that the reason for life was to teach others what you have learned. True. But what do we live -for-? What is the goal in life!?
The Samurai lived and died for their honor, to defend their beliefs and their Emperor. Native American tribes lived by the same rules, to defend their homes and their customs. Have you ever wondered what the hell has happened, that modern "civilized" nations decreed long ago that honor should be outlawed? Granted, our lives are much easier these days, allowing us to pursue other aspects of life- art, literature, science, and we are in a state not unlike those of the Ancient Greeks during the Renaissance. A state of ideas and ever-changing theorems. A wonderful period to the cycle of life- rejuvenation and refreshment.
But, in this age of machines, technological advances, and overall lack of physical activity, what are we doing? Why do we feel the need, as a people, to outdo our every improvement, and not allow us any time to think and feel and decide for ourselves what we want to do with life?
Maybe this is all about life, and the fact that I really don't know what I want to do. I don't really want to go to college, I would love to become an Army Ranger- I like physical hardship, it tests me, my limits, my endurance. I want to be a lifelong scholar, taught and tested in everything from Plato to the arts of war, how to train and ride a cavalry horse or ride the open seas upon the back of a rigged sailing ship! What must one do in life to accomplish and see everything?! Why does life have to take such a chosen path as school, job, work, work work, die, and never see ANYTHING!?!? Why can't I see the world, work as a deckhand on the Armada, hitchhike my way through Spain, explore the Ancient pyramids at Giza!?
Why do I get so mad about this? Perhaps it's the fac tthat I hate the way life is so plotted out, and I don't wna tot follow the course set out for me!! And yet... Maybe I'm jsut angry becuase I know that I will probably not ever do half of these things, because I do not ahve enough strength to stand up and get them? *shakes ehad* Maybe I'm jsut having all these wild thoughts because I am afraid to go to college and face the unknown...
And I am beginning to understand the mindset of honor and truth and valor, and all those things that were supposed to bring one to glory, and which these days, will usually send you to the slumming pits. What a shame that our world has ended up as such?
PS... This was all brought on by The Last Samurai. Good movie. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a different culture in action, and who wishes to gain a perspective on their life.
I don't know if any of this made sense, it wasn't a really coherent thought, jsut ramblings, with me trying to get across my message of urgency and distress.
Back to the present questions, of which there are many. If you lived in the ages of honor and glory, where lives were won and lost because of reasons one could understand and fight for, not a slaughter in the name of some nameless entity which sends troops out, for reasons the fighters probably don't understand completely, or better yet, which is for sheer spite or gain, and there is nothing honorable in their intentions, would you be one of the honorable, that did not run from battle, but turned and faced it, vowing to do their best, even unto death?
Looking inside, I wonder whether I would be such a being, but do conclude that should I have lived in those times, and been brought up in those ways, I would have been honorable. I would have fought and died to my last breath and I would have given everything i had to the cause I beleived in.
And yet, I wonder if that should I be faced with such a decision in this life, would I do what I knew to be right and face my death head-on, or back away and lve for another day? I've lived by two very different, completely opposite, ideas. One being that you should stand up and fight for what you beleive in, as long and as hard as you can, unyielding and unbending, the other being to live and fight another day. And they both make sense, which makes me beleive that it is jsut two very different customs and mindsets that set these two ideas into motion.
What do we live for in these days? Seriously, I spent at least a few days contemplating this question, and decided that the reason for life was to teach others what you have learned. True. But what do we live -for-? What is the goal in life!?
The Samurai lived and died for their honor, to defend their beliefs and their Emperor. Native American tribes lived by the same rules, to defend their homes and their customs. Have you ever wondered what the hell has happened, that modern "civilized" nations decreed long ago that honor should be outlawed? Granted, our lives are much easier these days, allowing us to pursue other aspects of life- art, literature, science, and we are in a state not unlike those of the Ancient Greeks during the Renaissance. A state of ideas and ever-changing theorems. A wonderful period to the cycle of life- rejuvenation and refreshment.
But, in this age of machines, technological advances, and overall lack of physical activity, what are we doing? Why do we feel the need, as a people, to outdo our every improvement, and not allow us any time to think and feel and decide for ourselves what we want to do with life?
Maybe this is all about life, and the fact that I really don't know what I want to do. I don't really want to go to college, I would love to become an Army Ranger- I like physical hardship, it tests me, my limits, my endurance. I want to be a lifelong scholar, taught and tested in everything from Plato to the arts of war, how to train and ride a cavalry horse or ride the open seas upon the back of a rigged sailing ship! What must one do in life to accomplish and see everything?! Why does life have to take such a chosen path as school, job, work, work work, die, and never see ANYTHING!?!? Why can't I see the world, work as a deckhand on the Armada, hitchhike my way through Spain, explore the Ancient pyramids at Giza!?
Why do I get so mad about this? Perhaps it's the fac tthat I hate the way life is so plotted out, and I don't wna tot follow the course set out for me!! And yet... Maybe I'm jsut angry becuase I know that I will probably not ever do half of these things, because I do not ahve enough strength to stand up and get them? *shakes ehad* Maybe I'm jsut having all these wild thoughts because I am afraid to go to college and face the unknown...
And I am beginning to understand the mindset of honor and truth and valor, and all those things that were supposed to bring one to glory, and which these days, will usually send you to the slumming pits. What a shame that our world has ended up as such?
PS... This was all brought on by The Last Samurai. Good movie. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see a different culture in action, and who wishes to gain a perspective on their life.
I don't know if any of this made sense, it wasn't a really coherent thought, jsut ramblings, with me trying to get across my message of urgency and distress.
Anyway... Had a crazy idea this morning, about surprising people!!! Unfortunately, the three people whom I chose as my victims, out of them, one had a locked door (Now seriously, who does that!?!?), one wasn't even home, even though his front door was open, and the other, everyone was home so there was no way I was sneaking in and jumping on him... His mom would prolly kill me. LoL
But even though I had a rough time with the surprises, I had a great morning. I was up at like...7:30, and started reading my book. I read the rest of it, and decided that Nickel creek was right for the day, so i put on my favorite song, and jumped out of bed to get dressed, write in my little book, and dance to the music, all at the same time!!! Needless to say, it ended up with my writhing onthe floor, stuck in my tanktop, one shoe on, and my thigh kinda bruised... Not a pretty sight. Lol
But it started my day off well, then the blow-out surprises, and now... Now? I'm making plans to play frisbee with everyone! WOOT! OMG, I'm so excited. LoL Who else can i invite!?
LoL I think Joe thinks I'm a retard again. lol
Oh well, somethings never change! heh
But even though I had a rough time with the surprises, I had a great morning. I was up at like...7:30, and started reading my book. I read the rest of it, and decided that Nickel creek was right for the day, so i put on my favorite song, and jumped out of bed to get dressed, write in my little book, and dance to the music, all at the same time!!! Needless to say, it ended up with my writhing onthe floor, stuck in my tanktop, one shoe on, and my thigh kinda bruised... Not a pretty sight. Lol
But it started my day off well, then the blow-out surprises, and now... Now? I'm making plans to play frisbee with everyone! WOOT! OMG, I'm so excited. LoL Who else can i invite!?
LoL I think Joe thinks I'm a retard again. lol
Oh well, somethings never change! heh