Well, I luv Bucci. heh She's a funny girl! Don't ask me why, but she is! LoL

Well, I finally found a horse to go places on, and it figures that it's in the last year of my high school career, when I have no time or money to do anyhting about it... *grin* But, I think I'm going to do something about it anyway. I've saved up enough moeny to afford one big show, and if I can take lessons with Cynthia every other week and see about doing soemthing with him this year before he's sold, maybe, jsut maybe I can do something with riding... Maybe.

*grin* I'm so excited... hehe What a good boy he is. Ooh... Got to go... I gave myself till 7:00 until I had to start my Chemistry...And it's 7... Poop. LoL Yay LOTR 3 TOMORROW WOOT!

Yeah... Nice horse, I suck at life, i have no friends. *smirk* My new rhyme. My new motto. heh

I'm hiding out, if anyone hasn't caught on. I haven't really done anything with anyone, and surprisiingly enough, when I actually think that I want to get off my butt, get out from in front of the TV or the book I'm reading, I call up someone and decide that no... I really don't want anything to do with anyone.

I want to have friends, but honestly, I jsut don't feel like being a friend. I don't want to be friendly, LoL If that makes sense. I always blame it on winter, but really, I wonder if it's just... something. I don't even know what to call it. At times, i wonder why I even wake up in the morning, LoL No, I'm not saying I'm suicidal, jsut... not feeling like I want to be a person these days.

I hurt. Ouch. Inside and out. Shoot me. I'm a dope. Granted, I'm dumb, so I shouldn't know that I'm hurting, but hey... Even animals know when they break their leg. Gee, thanks everyone, for giving me so much damned credit. Really, maybe you should jsut stake me to a cross, since I obviously am so stupid that I can't handle day to day life. *snarl* Jeremy, sometimes I think you're an angel. At the same time that you infuriate me with your common sense and logic, you make me laugh and want to jsut invite you to a New Year's Party. *smile* Even so, don't think I like you! *grin, wink*

So... I'm so excited! I went riding this morning, and was so happy! This horse is so cute! His name is Rival, and he's a 15.3 track Thoroughbred. His nickname's Buddy, but screw that. No name for a Thoroughbred, especially a little punk-ass like him. I love brats... they make my job interesting... me and Dad headed to the barn this morning, and honestly, I was a little worried. My dad hates going to the barn, it's so boring for him. I can understand, he's dragged me to mroe than one baot show, Lol God, can we say die of boredom? Lol But, I think he was actually having fun when the little shyt started acting up on me... It's always fun to watch someone get their ass kicked by a horse... Granted they don't get too hurt. Well, I was getting my butt aimed at, when he started veering into the center of the arena, and my cues weren't being taken. So, when I asked her what she usually did, and she basically gave mer permission to use force if necessary, I gritted my teeth and did what had to be done. Meaning, I beat the crap out of his ribs with my feet... She never offered me a crop, though she told my dad that she always rode him with one... Another test. Tests within tests... Like those movies where people backstab another, then trick everyone else... A surprise. LoL

I think she was really quite pleased when, by the end of the "trial," I hadn't gotten my butt kicked, and beside the obvious, I didn't kick his butt.

Now, onto the better subject of tonight... I'mnot sure what I want t do. Like, I feel like I have to go to Carolyn's, and god knows, I used to have fun some of the time. I wish I had more time to play aroudn with. Then I could definitely go to two different parties... As it is, I'm screwed. I don't feel like answering the phone upstiars... Spose I have to. Too late. Didn't make it.

Heh... me and mom are heading to Smithfield, to go check out a bookstore there, so we can grab a coffee, sit down and read some books. I can't wait... I don't have to work until 6, so... I'll be home free until 5:30ish or so.

Yay! I'm in such a good mood! Woot! Granted, I can't pull my legs together to save my life (courtesy of riding, thank you!), but God... Who needs to do that!? LMAO

Wow... You can tell it's late and I'm tired. I'm actually thinking about some stuff. How weird, right? I'm thinking how pleased I am that I was invited to not one, but -two- New Years Eve parties this year, and also, how happy I am to be loved and to have friends this time of year.

I was invited to Katie's which was basically a given, since me and her are actually pretty decent friends- well, maybe a bit more than that, but why mess with somehting that works? I was actually pretty hurt when her mother insinuated I was a boozehound, but really, I swear that some people are hurtful jsut to be hurtful. And beyond that, I have something I need to bring up with katie herself... Why does she need to tell me these things her mother says? She knows they hurt me, even though I try to put off they don't. *sad little smile* Maybe she really doesn't realize?

Anyway... So, when Carly invited me tonight and asked me to go to hers, I was so shocked, I forgot that I was already going to one, and immediately said yes... So, I remembered, and told her I'd go for a little while, then head to Katie's... Good trick, considering I'm working until 10. I'll figure something out, I always do. But, thank you Carly, I mean it. I miss you guys sometimes... Beleive it or not, I really do.

Oh man... I jsut got a temper on Matt, and I really didn't eman to. But, without even a Hello, Just, "Do you know where katie is?" I kind of lost it for a minute... And by then, I was too far gone to back down. Stupid girl. I hope he reads this, it says what I cannot say, becuase it's not me.

On a more pleasant note: The Mystic was fun! I loved the Sea Lion show and the beluga whales and everything else, but I felt kind of bad for the two sharks they had all cooped up in a tank. They didn't even have any pretty coral or anyhting,jsut cold steel holding them in, with windows for people to poke at them through... *shrugs* It made me sad. But, the Rays, matas and stings, were awesome. I got addicted to the Ray petting pool, LoL Spent like, 1/2 an hour petting the rays, heh! I'm such a child.

Woot... Going to Mystic today... Yeah... Gonna be fun, even if I'm going with my dad, bro, my3 year old cousin and her parentals... Should be fun. *forced grin* Actually, I am kinda excited, but I think I would've been moreso if I had thought to invite a friend, LoL Oh well... Dah me? heh

LoLI make absolutely no sense... LoL

Am I really so blunt that one cannot even try to be sneaky around me? Or... not sneaky, as me and katie discovered, but instead, covert? I hope so. I really hate people who have to hide their intentions, whether they be good or bad. In fact, it jsut pisses me off. Granted, sometimes it's fun, but most of the time, jsut come out and say it, becuase hell... Who's going to know what your intentions are, because it seems that even you don't know! Like, flirting... Can't we all jsut get along and jsut be like... Yeah. I like ya. No. So, I understand the amount of courage it takes to come out and say that, though I'm not sure why it's such a scary thing... maybe like the taboo about losing your virginity? Eh? Whatcha say to that? is it jsut this mindsey that contemporary society has betrothed to us, whether we like it or not? Hmm.. I wonder.

My nails are so short... I bit one off so now when i touch stuff, like typing, it hurts... So, I'm not typing with my index fingers. it's sick. Hah... I can type 60 words per minute, without using that silly little "hands on these keys" deally. hah/. You suck! Anyway...

I have a thing to do with a horse this morning. Woot! So excited... And it's fairly close to home, and hmm... Just so excited! heh Tell you more about it later. Hasta luego!