Oy. Oy vey. I fought with Jeremy, and had it out with Carolyn.
I would ahv eto say that the Jeremy thing was his fault, to start out with, and even though he apologized, I'm refusing it. I'm so sick of always being the first person to be oaky with everything. For once, I'm going to be the screaming weenie about it, and not have to be nice. I hate being nice. It sucks.
Carolyn and I got our mutual dislike for each other out of our systems- we figured out that we gradually begin to hate each other if we spend too much time togehter. So... we're going to hang out every once in a while, and no more. I like the girl, so I'll keep my peace and keep away. Luis can whine all he likes, I've known her longer. *shrugs* No big deal there.
My goldfish tank is dirty.. .I htink I need a sucker fish. Hmm. .Money needed there, and I have notta. Poop.
I'm sick of depressed people. Well, no... People who choose to be depressed and angry. It pisses me off. What do you have to be angry at? You are really smart when you're not telling everyone you're dumb; you are so talented, most people would kill to have half that skill (me! Me!); you are soooo cute! And I'm not talking in the you're-such-a-cute-kid cute... I'm talking personality (when you're not being dumb about it), well, hell, the whole package! And that smile!! ... Did I ever tell you I love, absolutely love, your smile? Swear to God, you could capture anyone worth having with that smile. It's gorgeous.
Why is my fishtank so icky??? I haven't done anything different... *pout*
Ya know, I understand why someone would be so angry all the time. There are so many things to be angry about. I wonder if happy people never notice the bad things, or if they jsut ignore them, or if they jsut get really good at controlling their temper.
I also wonder, do you think that the people who make the food for this universtiy are happy doing what they're doing? Like.. .Given all the financial backing in the world, would they keep their job? Or, is it jsut cowardice, or necessity, that keeps them here? I wish I could just walk away sometimes, go wander for some time, figure out what I want and who I am, then come back and resume my work. I hate being forced into anything... I really hate the fact that I feel like I -have- to do something, especially if it's something I really don't understand why I'm doing it. I always felt that way in highschool. Like I was being forcefed everything. Except math. English? What the hell do I care, about whether "i" before"e" and whatnot? Math, though... now there's something I could go off about- what a GEEK!!!! But I sitll love it.
But college? I kind of like it, sorta. At times, I feel like I'm being backed into a corner and there's nothing I can do about it. Like the only reason why I'm here is to get thrown into even smaller boxes- sometimes I wish I could be a journalist so I could go live like a bum and go be a bum, and write about it. Or, if I wanted to, go live in the woods by myself, become a wild animal, and figure out how to make my life work. Or... go study with some monks and learn how to see the world differently. I don't know. Maybe I would go to college forever, learn everything they had to offer, probably forget more than most people ever knew, and just... waste my time in here.
I wonder what the point of life is. One night, I lay in my bed, puzzling about this- about why people should bother to put so much effort and sweat, pain, blood into a life. And I think I realized- so we can teach others about what we learn. But, most of us don't get out there anymore, don't really learn anyhting about what's outside the box. "There is no truth but your own opinion. " But, what about other's opinions? I'm so tired... Always. My brain shuts down when I start thinking about stuff, like it never wants to think again, and it doesn't. It hates to think. Maybe it's this really shitty music.
I think you need to be in a particular mood for Tori Amos. Off with you, bitch.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Oy. Oy vey. I fought with Jeremy, and had it out with Carolyn.
I would ahv eto say that the Jeremy thing was his fault, to start out with, and even though he apologized, I'm refusing it. I'm so sick of always being the first person to be oaky with everything. For once, I'm going to be the screaming weenie about it, and not have to be nice. I hate being nice. It sucks.
Carolyn and I got our mutual dislike for each other out of our systems- we figured out that we gradually begin to hate each other if we spend too much time togehter. So... we're going to hang out every once in a while, and no more. I like the girl, so I'll keep my peace and keep away. Luis can whine all he likes, I've known her longer. *shrugs* No big deal there.
My goldfish tank is dirty.. .I htink I need a sucker fish. Hmm. .Money needed there, and I have notta. Poop.
I'm sick of depressed people. Well, no... People who choose to be depressed and angry. It pisses me off. What do you have to be angry at? You are really smart when you're not telling everyone you're dumb; you are so talented, most people would kill to have half that skill (me! Me!); you are soooo cute! And I'm not talking in the you're-such-a-cute-kid cute... I'm talking personality (when you're not being dumb about it), well, hell, the whole package! And that smile!! ... Did I ever tell you I love, absolutely love, your smile? Swear to God, you could capture anyone worth having with that smile. It's gorgeous.
Why is my fishtank so icky??? I haven't done anything different... *pout*
Ya know, I understand why someone would be so angry all the time. There are so many things to be angry about. I wonder if happy people never notice the bad things, or if they jsut ignore them, or if they jsut get really good at controlling their temper.
I also wonder, do you think that the people who make the food for this universtiy are happy doing what they're doing? Like.. .Given all the financial backing in the world, would they keep their job? Or, is it jsut cowardice, or necessity, that keeps them here? I wish I could just walk away sometimes, go wander for some time, figure out what I want and who I am, then come back and resume my work. I hate being forced into anything... I really hate the fact that I feel like I -have- to do something, especially if it's something I really don't understand why I'm doing it. I always felt that way in highschool. Like I was being forcefed everything. Except math. English? What the hell do I care, about whether "i" before"e" and whatnot? Math, though... now there's something I could go off about- what a GEEK!!!! But I sitll love it.
But college? I kind of like it, sorta. At times, I feel like I'm being backed into a corner and there's nothing I can do about it. Like the only reason why I'm here is to get thrown into even smaller boxes- sometimes I wish I could be a journalist so I could go live like a bum and go be a bum, and write about it. Or, if I wanted to, go live in the woods by myself, become a wild animal, and figure out how to make my life work. Or... go study with some monks and learn how to see the world differently. I don't know. Maybe I would go to college forever, learn everything they had to offer, probably forget more than most people ever knew, and just... waste my time in here.
I wonder what the point of life is. One night, I lay in my bed, puzzling about this- about why people should bother to put so much effort and sweat, pain, blood into a life. And I think I realized- so we can teach others about what we learn. But, most of us don't get out there anymore, don't really learn anyhting about what's outside the box. "There is no truth but your own opinion. " But, what about other's opinions? I'm so tired... Always. My brain shuts down when I start thinking about stuff, like it never wants to think again, and it doesn't. It hates to think. Maybe it's this really shitty music.
I think you need to be in a particular mood for Tori Amos. Off with you, bitch.
I would ahv eto say that the Jeremy thing was his fault, to start out with, and even though he apologized, I'm refusing it. I'm so sick of always being the first person to be oaky with everything. For once, I'm going to be the screaming weenie about it, and not have to be nice. I hate being nice. It sucks.
Carolyn and I got our mutual dislike for each other out of our systems- we figured out that we gradually begin to hate each other if we spend too much time togehter. So... we're going to hang out every once in a while, and no more. I like the girl, so I'll keep my peace and keep away. Luis can whine all he likes, I've known her longer. *shrugs* No big deal there.
My goldfish tank is dirty.. .I htink I need a sucker fish. Hmm. .Money needed there, and I have notta. Poop.
I'm sick of depressed people. Well, no... People who choose to be depressed and angry. It pisses me off. What do you have to be angry at? You are really smart when you're not telling everyone you're dumb; you are so talented, most people would kill to have half that skill (me! Me!); you are soooo cute! And I'm not talking in the you're-such-a-cute-kid cute... I'm talking personality (when you're not being dumb about it), well, hell, the whole package! And that smile!! ... Did I ever tell you I love, absolutely love, your smile? Swear to God, you could capture anyone worth having with that smile. It's gorgeous.
Why is my fishtank so icky??? I haven't done anything different... *pout*
Ya know, I understand why someone would be so angry all the time. There are so many things to be angry about. I wonder if happy people never notice the bad things, or if they jsut ignore them, or if they jsut get really good at controlling their temper.
I also wonder, do you think that the people who make the food for this universtiy are happy doing what they're doing? Like.. .Given all the financial backing in the world, would they keep their job? Or, is it jsut cowardice, or necessity, that keeps them here? I wish I could just walk away sometimes, go wander for some time, figure out what I want and who I am, then come back and resume my work. I hate being forced into anything... I really hate the fact that I feel like I -have- to do something, especially if it's something I really don't understand why I'm doing it. I always felt that way in highschool. Like I was being forcefed everything. Except math. English? What the hell do I care, about whether "i" before"e" and whatnot? Math, though... now there's something I could go off about- what a GEEK!!!! But I sitll love it.
But college? I kind of like it, sorta. At times, I feel like I'm being backed into a corner and there's nothing I can do about it. Like the only reason why I'm here is to get thrown into even smaller boxes- sometimes I wish I could be a journalist so I could go live like a bum and go be a bum, and write about it. Or, if I wanted to, go live in the woods by myself, become a wild animal, and figure out how to make my life work. Or... go study with some monks and learn how to see the world differently. I don't know. Maybe I would go to college forever, learn everything they had to offer, probably forget more than most people ever knew, and just... waste my time in here.
I wonder what the point of life is. One night, I lay in my bed, puzzling about this- about why people should bother to put so much effort and sweat, pain, blood into a life. And I think I realized- so we can teach others about what we learn. But, most of us don't get out there anymore, don't really learn anyhting about what's outside the box. "There is no truth but your own opinion. " But, what about other's opinions? I'm so tired... Always. My brain shuts down when I start thinking about stuff, like it never wants to think again, and it doesn't. It hates to think. Maybe it's this really shitty music.
I think you need to be in a particular mood for Tori Amos. Off with you, bitch.