I ask too many questions,
I say too many words.

I am annoying
And pesty
And a pain-in-the-ass.

But oh, dear stranger in the day,
can you not see past this facade?
Can you not see past this realism that is not me,
to the goodness underneath?

Dear Matt,

That post was said in anger. It should ahve been deleted. I'm sorry. The purpose of this blogger is not to hurt people's feelings, it is merely to put down in words what I am feeling at the moment. That is no excuse and should not ahve to be, but please do pardon my behavior.

You hurt me, deeply wounded me, really. And because of some tempermental streak in me, I strike back when I am hurt. I get angry when I get sad, and I hurt others to make them feel the same way I do. There is no excuse, there is no reason; I am still working to smooth over that hateful side of myself. But, if you get nothing else from this post, please hear my apology, if not accept it. I am sorry.

Abby

Roight. Now, I wonder if anyone else is as persistent as me, in my efforts to get away from my own house for the summer. For the last few years, I've been looking for working student positions in Europe, USA, Canada, etc. This is the first year that I can seriously begin looking, though, because I will be 17 in April. I wonder why I am so concerned with this. I suppose it's a mixture of my wanting to travel and see things, as well as have the opportunity to work with my favorite creatures under the sun, eh?

Blunt, honest. Hmm. Do they go hand in hand, or am I simply raving about things that no one could possibly care less about? Probably both. I gots to go, though... More job hunting. *grins* And then onto Biology! yay! hehe

Edited as of NOW:

Eep.. I did not know that you read my blogger, Matt... *blink* Or, jsut happened to come across it from Naomi in some way, shape, or form. Hmm. Well, happy hunting, I hope you found what you were looking for. And Matt, my "long-awaited" conversation did happen; my goal has been accomplished- I figured out where your name is from. *smiles* I can rest easy, now. G'bye!

I remember when I said that you put my feelings into words, put my emotions and temper and reasonings into eloquence and beauty that any and all could understand. I go to you with my problems, with things about myself that I don't understand and you can put them into words and phrases to help me clear them up. You know my deepest secrets, you hold my darkest thoughts. And because of you, it's time for me to get over myself and be here, as a shoulder for you to lean on.

I have a funny story for all to laugh at and wonder about. Just how remarkably proud of myself am I, that i finally went through with it and did it, that I wrote my letter to Elijah Wood and didn't back down at the very last minute. Oh yeah... I am cracking myself up at this very moment, remembering everything that was going through my head while I wrote out this letter in plain lined paper, stuck it in an envelope, put on the stamp and return address, then went out in my car with the movies that had to be returned, and with a few misgivings, put the envelope in the mailbox. *grins* Oh yeah... I'm oh-so- talented. Like... ridiculously so.

Okies... Now I know this sounds stupid, as the last time I hung with Mr. Erik, I swore to myself I would never do it again, but damnitall! I miss the boy! I wish he would come abck from florida so I could give him his christmas gift and have my excuse to roam that neighborhood, back. LoL Just a silly thing, i suppose, but silly or not, it's still a wish. come back, man... we miss ya! LoL