I think I made a mistake, but I'm hoping it'll work out. I guess we'll find out, huh? And if not, then we know better for the future. But seriously, I'm sure it'll be juuuuust fine.

On that note, I really need to work on the whole self-confidence issue. As in, I have none. NONE!! LoL It was so bad in the pizza place tonight that I had high-schoolers picking on me!! I jsut collapsed because this guy was being an ass to me. Collapsed. Even Dave saw my face and how utterly panicked and ashamed I was, that he laid off and just tried to make me laugh on the way home. Thinking back, I want to cry. Why'd I let it happen? Why'd I just... lose it? It's been happening lately. I get into any new situation and lose any and all self-confidence. It's ridiculous! And then after, I think back and wonder, "How the HELL did that get away from me so quickly?" I should've turned to that girl and eyed her up and down in that cold, "I'm better than you'll ever be, bitch," way I can pretend and been like, "Did I ask for your input? No? Thought so. Stuff it, half-pint."
Much more nicely, of course. because I could never be mean like that. Hell, I might actually have to be witty, and we all know that doesn't happen. Jesus.

Or maybe, I shouldn't have wilted so visibly, giving them such an excuse to beat on me.

Oy. Just oy.

After reading that special book, I've decided that I don't want to be that person. You know, that person who gets beat up in whatever way, then defends the person because they're too afraid they can't do it on their own.

I've decided that I'm going to try something new. It's gonna be my goal- Do it because -I- want to do it, not because someone else wants me to.

Also- don't crumple. Don't wilt. Stand up and face it. I -can- do it, I -can-. I jsut have to believe it and not give up because... "Oh no. What if I can't?"

Alright, I'm done. By the way. I have decided that my camera shall be carried on me at all time, because cool shit happens all the time and I never have a chance to photograph it. Because I never have my camera!