I've come to the conclusion that I work better on less sleep. Hmm.. An interesting conclusion, I suppose. Especially since I usuallt work better on more sleep... LoL
BIRTHDAY PARTY TOMORROW!!!! YAY! God, I am sooo worried about this comm project. There is a very good chance I could fail this class, especially since I got a 0 on the first exam, being in the hospital and all... Oy. Stupid fucking teacher. I was in the hospital with the grandma who died a month later, and she wouldn't let me take a makeup exam. Ugh... Anyway.. .I'm worried. Unbelievably worried. I've never felt this... helpless with any project. Nevermind something I would normally make up the ngiht before,,, Geez...
You know, every once in a while, I get a reminder of all those things I've left behind; in giving up being hurt over and over, I only get hit every once in a while, but it hurts more than 10 of the little hits, put together. I had a moment like that jsut today. I saw this German Shepherd pup, and the sight of it made me flashback to the days of Mouser and Sophie, when I had my horse and dog... The crazy trio. I remember Clarissa commenting one day on what an odd trio we were. All misfits, the wrecked vindictive horse, the a malnourished-tiny dog, and the girl who could make friends with the meanest animals. And from there, you remember the days of Mouser being deathly-ill, being the only one whose hand he would eat from. To racing in the house screaming how much you hated them, how much you -HATED- them for selling him without a goodbye.
Of chasing Sophie around the woods after she got off her run, coming in the house to see her come flying down the stairs, through a surprised Damien's legs, to slam into my squatting form. And they tried to tell me she was ompletely Damien's... Hah. That dog was always mine, she knew who had saved her... *smile* I'm so glad she's happy now, even if I do miss her sometimes.
Dan... The crazy, vindictive bitch-mare who attempted to crush any soul stupid enough to get near... Again, a personal friend. I wish I could say she was happy... Unfortunately, I cannot. *sad little half-smile* Meh... It could be worse, I suppose.
Meh... Enough of reminiscing. I already asked Naomi to stop, and then I go and do it anyway. That shepherd really god to me,I suppose. I can't wait to see my little Spritey... Do a little dance, race out to jump on my car, tell me all about how she missed me, how long will I stay this time?? Dear God, I have a wonderful imagination, huh?
I need to join teams. Lots and lots of teams. Do something, anything, everything. Take up the time I use to do nothing these days. I used to have stuff to do, but I QUIT!!! heh
YOu know, at the same time I can't wait to go home for summer break, I really don't want to. I jsut want to stay here, goof off in the dorms where I know I have someplace to hang out at all times, where people don't turn away because I'm in low mood, they jsut make me laugh and let me pick what channel I want to watch.
Meh.. I'm going to bed. Enough melancholy. G'night all!! *kisses, hugs, whatnor, skip and hop into her bunk* YAY!