Well, I haven't talked on here in a bit, mostly becaues I can't seem to get into words what I've been feeling. I know I've been a moron, I know I am a moron. But really, why can't you get on with life and get over it? I mean, do you think I don't cringe every time I think about it, every time I hear about it? Geez... I can put enough of a guilt trip on myself, you people don't even have to do anything!!

Granted, I'm sure most of this is paranoia because I know I'm guilty and positive that everyone hates me, and everyone's ignoring me because they hate me, and I'm not invited anywhere because everyone hates me, and I'm completely sure that every problem I have is because all my frineds hate me because of one thing or another, all stemming from my stupidity. Yep... I know I'm paranoid, but for the last two weeks, I can't help but feel this way. every time I hang out with any of my friends, I cannot seem to laugh, I cannot get my spirits much above a snake's belly, and honestly, I seriously think most of this stems from my own self-dislike... I hate my friends evry time I talk to them and get the feeling that they hate me... I'm going insane.

I'm on the edge, I'm ready to fly.
I'm ready to flee, I'm ready to die.
I'm willing to be, I'm beginning to cry.
Just don't be like me, just don't be like me.