Yep... I needed to write. Fucking A! I knew she would be there, sjut knew it. Fuck! Someone just put a goddamn bullet through my head. What manner of sutpidity would cause me to go to he barn on a fucking weekend!? What idiotic neurons weren't working!? *sigh* Whatever... It was hostile, to say the least, awkward to say the least, but I think I got off the attitude real well. Mainly because I truly have one. I didn't have to fake anything. It's so much easier to act bitter and resentful and disdainful, when you truly are all of the above. Granted, she had reasons to be bitter and angry and sarcastic. But... so did I. And she can't push me aorund like she used to. I think i proved it today. She knew it, I knew it.

Conclusion: I'm not allowed to visit Dan anymore. At all. Unless she's there. (At that statement, I walked out of the barn, got in my car, and drove off, only to return shortly after because in my temper, I forgot to tell her why I'd come.)
Another Conclusion: I'm not intimidated anymore by this bitch. She can throw anything at me, and I can take it, mainly ebcause I know that I don't need her anymore. Yes, I was visiting because I msised the horses, but she doesn't have ammo anymore, no Mouse to sell, no Dan to threaten me with. And she knows it, and she's wondering.

I'm gritting my teeth at the moment, proud of my spine and forcefulness in the matter, my bitterness and resentment obviously showed to her by my attitude, though with my submissiveness shown to adults in the fact that I didn't scream, yell, cower, or cry. At the same time, though... All i want to do is go outside, and with both fingers reaching for the sky, scream out my defiance. It won't do anyhting but get me in trouble ebcause my neighbors will tell my parents what I said, So... FUCK YOU!!! I Hate your guts, BITCH! Get a life, quit messing with 12 year olds HEADS! You know why your son is FUCKING PSYCHOTIC!?!?!? It's because he was raised by a fucking psycho!!! I hope you lose Dan to someone who deserves her. And I'm glad she threw you on your Ass. Now you know why I was the only one who could ride her. I was the only one she LIKED! Want to know why!? Because all you did was scream, yell and threaten!!! You never said two words to that mare, or anyone else for that matter, for anyhting done good. YOu jsut took it for granted!!! So, ya know what!? Ya know who's sick of the bullshyt!? That'd be ME! So, again, Fuck Off, and Go To Hell. I should ahve stayed away after I left you with those words four years ago!! I should ahve learned. You're right. This time was my fault. I was stupid!! But, dammit, it won't happen ever fucking again!!!

*smiles bitterly* That's my monologue... If you don't like it... Screw You. Night all!