Okay, Lol. So, for all of you that don't know this, I now know what "irreconcilable differences" are. They are differences in which two people simply cannot either 1) get along because they are so different in experiences or temperment, or 2) they jsut can't relate to one another because of diffences in experiences or temperment.

Well, I went out on a friendly "date" (Why does everyone call it a date? I was just gonna call it hanging out, but NO....) Anyway, I went hanging out with Juice on Thursday, and I decided we had irreconcilable differences. Like, I still adore the kid and would love to be his friend, but the question of how the hell did we go out for a month and see each other every day came up into my head more than once. Like... I know nothing about him, and he knows very little about me, and well, neither of us, though we get along well enough, neither of us share experiences, so there's not many to draw on for conversation... let's put it that way. So, besides that, we both get bored really easily, and I didn't know where I was going, and I hate car rides when I'm driving, and UGH! It was bad.

So, at about 10, Linds and Jeremy showed up, and it was more fun, mainly ebcause I culd joke around with Linds like we always do, and not have to worry about what to say, how to act, etc, because I am always jsut goofdy around ehr and Jeremy, whereas around joe, though he knows I'm a complete goofball, I didn't feel like I could relax. I beleve the purpose of this date might have had something to do with my uptightness, but since we never got aorund to it, I don't think it could've been that important in the first place. The most serious thing we said all night, beyond nothing, was when we talked about how we'd gone out for a month and we still didn't know anything about the other. I was sad... and I kind of think he regretted it as well, but hey. what's done is done.

Now, I know he's an awesome kid, and I really wish I had done more with that relationship, but I do suppose that those things, which most kids go throgh, are all part of the learning process. Ya know, I watch some of my friends, who have had many more boyfriends/girlffirneds than me, and I know that they choose, actively choose to go out and pursue someone until they go out. I, on hte other hand, sit on my laurels and jsut wait for whatever is perfect at the time, and then try my hand. But anyway... Those people, are so affectionate with their "significant other" (SO, from now on), and I am really not an affectionate person. I like to cuddle and I like to hug, but to really be passionate? I swear it's not in my nature. I'm a lukewarm person. I don't feel passion for much of anything. Life experience has taught me that, if you feel for something/someone, they always turn away, or leave, and you'll always be hurt in the end. So... I turned into a lukewarm person. And well... I owe Joe an apology for not allowing myself to get close to him, to not allow him to get close to me. I fend people off with my ditziness, my clumsiness, my stupidity, and yet, all the time, I really want to jion in, be friendly and be passionate... And there I go. Being stupid again. Well... enough of my sappiness. Time to get off here. I've said enough, and if none of you really read this, I probably would be less embarassed than if you did. Lol