*le sigh* I failed it. Horribly. I left half of them blank, and the other ones I did wrong. Geez... Way to study for a week straight and -still- fail the damned exam. Fuck. I really needed a good grade on it. Fuck fuck fuck. Now what the hell am I going to do?

I have another exam tomorrow, but whatever... That one is kind of easyish... Hopefully. LoL Half the people I forget about becuase I haven't heard of them in weeks!! But, I'll look over the texts and remember, because I have a really decent memory for stuff like that. LoL Too bad Chem kicks my ass so bad. *groan* This is not the way I wanted it to go...

Oh man... I jsut spent 10 minutes reading this story about... Horrible things.
Things I don't even want to discuss, they're so... horrible. OMG... I'm traumatized. trust me. I joke around, but -this- was truly traumatizing. OMG... I am sickened.

On a better note, becuase God, this day needs better notes, I think I have my smile back. I was monitoring myself the other day as I joked around with a few friends, and I could laugh. Laugh without forcing it. It felt... great! I was happy! I think I may keep my blogger as it is for a while, simply in memory of bad times, but also becuase I love that background. And Silent Screaming pertains to me. Scream? Never. Not when it counts, anyway.

I told you my new job was to make you smile, my goal was to make you laugh. You called me crazy. Don't ever doubt it; I am the Queen of Crazies. But... You will smile. *grin* I don't care if I have to be the stupidest person alive, or learn high-level vocabulary words, let them roll off my tongue with natural ease, I -will- make you laugh. Just because I remember when you did, when you did handstands and stuck out your tongue. I won't give up on you. *smile* I won't.

Please don't hurt me, though.

"I dream I'm falling down, on my face. I scrape my knees, I scrape my hands until they bleed. Because youre fast asleep, next to me... Next to me..."