I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
I just want to feel deep in my own world
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day if I was safe in my own skin
then I wouldn't feel so lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin

And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore

I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again

- Dido, "Honestly OK"

Even on a day like this when you're crawling on the floor
Reaching for the phone to ring anyone who knows you anymore
It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something

Staring at the same four walls, have you tried to help yourself
The rings around your eyes they don't hide, that you need to get some rest

It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
Take time to catch your breathe and choose your moment

Don't slide

Even at a time like this when the morning seems so far
Think that pain belongs to you but it's happened to us all

It's all right to make mistakes
you're only human
Inside everybody's hiding something
Take time to catch your breathe and choose your moment

Don't slide

You brought this on yourself
and it's high time you left it there
Lie here and rest your head
and dream of something else instead

Don't slide

- Dido, "Slide"

Hmm... Can we tell what I was listneing to this morning, and obsessing over? *Smirk* Mmm... I'm sure -some- of us can.

To Tricksy:
Have you ever felt the weight of something that is so hopeless you would rather break it, stomp it, shatter it to a thousand pieces than live another day without being able to do something? I've offered so many explanations and asked for your understanding, but this one reason I remembered from so long ago- the first time I hurt you, the first time I wondered why I ever did it.

I no longer ask for forgiveness; in fact, at the same time that I only want to jump and dance and hug you and tell you what I got on my latest chem exam or tease you about being a music snob, I hope you never forgive me, never speak to me again, because I -will- hurt you again. And that certain fate is unbearable.

Selfish, I realize. Too late, I understand. But there it is. I simply began to enjoy talking to you too much, started wondering what you looked like, what you were like on the the street, and found myself hopelessly frustrated because there was nothing I could do about it. I'm so sorry I hurt you... I'm incredibly sorry I'm so dumb that I can't even understand myself enough to have warned you.

Why am I writing this? I don't even know if you read this thing or not, but you did a long time ago, so maybe you still do. You said you read some, but wouldn't say who's... So, I write this in order for you to understand that no matter how horrible you feel you are, you can't be that bad. You had someone fall in love with the face underneath. Even through the KO boxing matches and silent treatments and multiple absences, screw-ups and swearing, I have loved you from day one.

Don't hate yourself, please... You don't deserve it.

I'm so sorry. Hate me, instead.

~Silly~

PS. Remember the memo I sent through Link? An invite to a campfire... *Smirk* See how goofy I am? Oy. Take care, boyo.