I am back into riding, dammit! WOOT WOOT!@!! Had my first lesson today, with Cynthia. Let me tell you, that woman is awesome. I love her to death. I love horses to death. Dude... Riding is so awesome. Now if only it wasn't so freiking expensive!!! But Beth is telling me that I can come and ride Doc anytime I want... How fantastic is that!?

Anyway, riding was good. It felt right, like it usually does. Well, you know, except for the bruises on the upper inside of my thighs, making it hard to walk un-bow-legged. Stupid saddle... It was one I hadn't ridden in before, and becase it fit the horse, I rode in it- it did not fit me at all. Geeeeezzzz... So, I'm bruised. Ouch.

But can I jsut say... When you can feel the difference in jsut an hour in a horse, it's like... Amazing. Truly, breathtakingly amazing. It's like.. Holy Shit, I can make this horse feel better. I can help him get better, physically and mentally! Wow..

I don't know. I guess that's what social workers feel like when they find bad kids and help them into good homes, and see the difference. Or Psychiatrists. I dunno. Fucking psychics, maybe. But anyway... That's my rant for that...

I'm beginning to think that I will never find a guy I want to get involved with, that wants to get involved back. Maybe I'm too picky. Probably. Or maybe I'm just unwantable. Again, probably. *sigh* Meh... You would think it would be easier. Oy.

I let out my secret last night. About my crush. About the kid I love and will never know. Wouldn't it be awesome to just... spill? Such a fairytale thought, I know. "Just tell them and everything will come right!" Yeah. Right. More like, everything will just... wither and die. *smirk*

God I'm optimistic these days! what happened to me? where did the bright sunshine lady go? LoL Geeeeeeeez. Okay. Bright Sunshine Lady is outta here to go do laundry. Bye bye!