Physics is kickin' my ass. Hardcore. And I lost a contact. Unfortunately, I'm not sure whether I lost it -in- or -out- of my eye. Sometimes, I hate contacts. Glasses are just so much easier!!!

Sometimes, I wonder why the past haunts us. I hear tales of it all the time- "what's wrong?" "Oh, a ghost from my past just scared me." Or... "Sometimes I jsut need to sit and think about past mistakes" or some other line along the same idea. My dad is always warning me about making the same mistakes he did, ending up like he has. Now seriously, what is so bad about being my dad? Granted, we don't have much money (who does, these days?), and maybe life isn't quite as peachy keen as in the movies. But seriously? He has a family that loves him to death, a wife that still -tries- to make him happy, overt signs of affection, he's got two kids that are fantastic, no matter what society says, and okay, so maybe going from a cushy high-tech job to parts manager in a marina isn't the step up he was expecting, but so the fuck what?! If the rest of your life is going strong, chill out and enjoy what you -do- have instead of worrying about what you coulda shoulda woulda been doing. *Shrugs* Maybe I'm oversimplifying things, maybe I'm jsut not getting the "big picture". All I know is that past mistakes are to -learn- from, not agonize over. And hindsight is 20/20; there's no one doubting -that-, so why do you doubt your actions? You didn't know what would happen... Unless you're Iago, then you're the total antagonist and rightful heir to all the hell that befalls you. hahaha Funny... I love Iago. He makes me laugh at his awesome mischief.

Okay, so... rant over, almost. Stupid effing riding team! I tell them, time and time again- I AM RIDING THIS YEAR. I can't make meetings because I have class, but I would like to know what's going on- WTF, MATE?! Yeah. The captain jsut yelled at me for missing the first group lesson, when in fact, no one even told me I was even on the schedule, or whatever else is going on. I -know- I have a show this weekend, fom way back when Alicia from the RIC team told me... Do i have a lesson in? Do I even hear from my teammates to know what time to get up and get to wherever the meeting place is? NO!!!

I quit. I hate the BS, politics, and overall -crap- that happens at this stupid effing horse team. Argh... I'm annoyed.

But... I really like showing. -Really- like proving I'm best at whatever I do, or just damned good. It's like one of those things where... If you're only good at one or two things, you like to prove it to make up for all those things you're only so-so, or plain shitty, at. Mmm, I am kinda vicious... I -like- to whip the pants off everyone in the ring, in whatever class I'm in, because it proves I'm good at -something-, even if it's not something everyone else can understand. And besides that, the ribbons make my room pretty!!!! hehehe

Anyway... Cal-Matt made me really quite happy the other night; we just talked like we used to- absolute nonsense that no one but us, and possibly even us, would understand. I missed him. I'll admit it. Charter-Matt hasn't spoken to me since I told him about Russian-Matt... Oops? And Russian-Matt is adorable as usual. After spending an hour with me in my physics recitation after doing the problems in his chem class, I was ready to do almost anything for him... hehe

The hoickey game was great last night!! Even if the Bruins got their asses handed to them. haha The Wolfpack was pretty good, and overall, it was a good night- I wasn't doing physics, so it must've been oaky, huh? LoL (PS. I actually kinda like physics, it's just... I'm not quite up to speed with the basic concepts of it, yet.)

PS. Linds... If you still read this, Matt resembling Cat got soooo much weirder... I miss Cat. Not his BS or the ridiculousness that went along with him, but I do miss him... I hope he's doing alright.