But I think that maybe
The thing that I did wrong
Was put up with his bullshit
For far too long

I ain't gonna sleep
I ain't gonna dream
About the things that I used to need
I ain't gonna cry
Or go on living lies
I'm just gonna drive

The Wreckers - Cigarettes

Mmm... This is waht I feel like I'm doing. Don't whine, no more crying, jsut get up and walk away. Some things are lost and can't be found. Some things don't go back to normal. And this, my friends, is one of them.

I love you guys... Please don't ever doubt it. But I left a piece of myself there and never got it back. Events conspired against me/us/whatever, and shit happens. Have fun with your new (I hope!) girl, she's probably better than me anyway- less moody bitch, more fun and games!

Please don't ever look back... I -chose- this. No matter how scary and unknown, no matter how my mind balks at the idea of wrapping around not moving back in, no matter how I think... wouldn't it be easier jsut to take the year off and not worry about this BS?

Do waht you need to do, girl. New year's Resolution. Do waht feels right, do what you want, do what you gotta do. And do it right. No half-steps.

Shit, I'm scared.