I think I'm okay now. Why I wasn't okay in the first place, I'm unsure. But it's okay now.

I think the mono is finally loosening its grasp. I can stay up a little later, I can do a LOT more. But, it's given me a reason to say no. If I don't want to go somewhere, I think about it now instead of instantly agreeing just to be social. And honestly, there aren't many places I want to go. I really could be the most anti-social person ever; it's kind of funny in a quiet, alone sort of way.

Tomorrow is my second riding lesson of the summer. I'm excited. I think these lessons might actually be something I'll stick with. A barn I will like. Real people. It's hard to find them in horse world; so many are floating without a tether. Hell, maybe I'll even get to play at shows. After cleaning out my bureau, I found a treasure trove beneath clothes I haven't worn in years. A folder labelled, "Treasure's Folder," contained lists of horse shows I attended as a kid, rated and otherwise, with the points I'd racked up in Arab world. I looked through it and started smiling- I used to be good at this.

I think experience, of any sort, is good. The really powerful experiences are what makes a person, though. What gives them -character-. I used to dread when Becky would say that, but it's so true. The experience may be tough, but what it gives you in the end will be well worth it. And I want more. I want to live and truly experience it.

A good poem is the one that kicks you in the heart. Right on, Goudreau.