An update for the Blogger I have so neglected these past couple of months. I've noticed. I never write here unless stuff is bad, because when it's good, I'm too busy going out and having fun! haha But for right now, I'm bored- it's too early for anyone to be up. Hell, I shouldn't be up. But I have been! For an hour now! Woot! So here I sit, sipping hot apple cider stolen from home, eating a yogurt for breakfast, and wondering when I'm going to get my chemistry done because it's just not looking good. haha

School is going well, I think. I don't have that much to do, but when I do, it's going to be all at once, hot and heavy like whoa. I think I've decided to take a year off from school and go play on a dude ranch somewhere in the west. Change of scenery, change of life, etc. maybe get my life back on a track I can be happy about. Whenever I think about where I'm going, it's with a constant state of panic because I already feel like a rat on a wheel, running running running and never getting anywhere. So I'm going to apply to some today, put some feelers out and check out what it'd be like to work on a dude ranch, maybe spend a year, maybe spend 3 months. Who knows? But... I think it's the catch I need to get out of the monotony and apathy I seem to have stepped in. I really feel like I need to get back to my horses; find my heart again. Hell, maybe it's gone forever, maybe I'm just too old and too steeped in the real world to get it back- God I hope not...

I've been hanging out almost daily with MM, Superhero; I really like him as a friend. We're really alike but completely different; it seems to me that everyone is the same. Very few people can you not see a piece of yourself; I think it's the people you dislike in which you recognize that part of yourself you don't like. Of course, then there's always the ignorant, stupid bastards who make me want to hit them because they're on a COMPLETELY different planet than the one called Earth. Anywway... It's been going well. We made a "deal;" he teaches me how to be a classy delinquent and I keep him young. *Laughs* Or rather, that's the only reason I can figure out for us hanging out. Brought me to a party at his friends' house last night; it was... a party. I knew no one and I wandered away from him within 20 minutes of being there to be my social self with 80 people I could care less about. Played coin toss, wandered, talked to some people, and had a decent time. He came back about an hour later- I knew where he'd gone but was... much happier chilling with everyone else. Then he drove me home because... get this, my roomie from freshman year- Lauren?- was causing shit in the other house, talking smack and just being herself, really... and there was going to be a very small crowd doing things I have no interest in doing. So... he drove me home at 11:30 and... yeeah.

I'm going with... Never again. Panda beat up my forehead with a log yesterday... Nice black and blue, thankfully hidden by my hair. I miss my doggies. Saddddddd... God, I'm tired.