Memorable lines:

Mike: Is that your sweater in there?
Me: Yeah...
Mike: Oh. Okay. But.. Isn't it a little small for you?
I just stare with a, "Okay, there better be more to this or you're dead," face.
Mike: I mean... In this *gestures to general chest area* way?
Me: Um, it's a sweater, it stretches, so... No.
Mike: Oh... I guess I overestimate the size of your boobs.

Me to Prof: Major, you are a MESS!
Major, after looking at the two girls beside me, whose eyes are bugging: How hard do you think you'll hit the ground from the 3rd floor?
Me: Are you threatening to throw me out the window?
Major: Maybe.

Marquisa: The snakes don't mess with the chimps because they BITE! And no one likes to deal with BITEY things!!