Thank God for Carolyn. I just pray that I am as good a friend as she is.

Between Josh and Rich, and the family shit I found out, and the issues that have been raised in my head because of all that, nevermind school! I'm feeling so overwhelmed and... small.

I've known so much about my parents and my childhood, so... not much of it was a shock there, but the overall picture and the history and that so many people cared enough to try to stop them, those are new facts.

That it wasn't Curly so much as Memere. That we were both raised by our grandparents and the ones who weren't ended up the EXACT SAME WAY. That my upbringing was so affected by the College Rule. But not just for college, for EVERYTHING. That I was never GIVEN anything without feeling like I owed something for it.

God... my head hurts and I just really want to cry in frustration for so many years of wondering why there were so many double-standards.

And how the child always tries hardest for the parent they perceive loves the least. Hi Mom, how are you?

I really like Rich. Period. Even if he is the stupid choice.