You would laugh at me... just die laughing. Then you would sober up because I am one of your loves and realize just how much you don't feel like laughing anymore. I know this, because I laugh at myself when I can think externally, then come to the same conclusion.

I'm sitting in the Mystic right now, something I haven't done since I read your final message, hoping against hope that maybe you come around every once in a while to see if there's anyone left.

There isn't, but the feeling of loss is so heavy tonight I can't stand it. It's a physical ache deep in my heart. I have an essay I'm proud to show you. A story I feel so strongly about, I wish you had been around to proof it for me. (After all, you are the best writer I know and therefore the only person to whom I would trust this story's form.) Honestly, I just miss it all. Music, kitties, words... God, I miss words, conversation about things that don't matter but should, conversation at all. I'm so sick of idle pratter and can't seem to find another person to fill the void you left. *Smiles*

But it's not all about me!! I know!! haha And if things are wonderful, so wonderful and powerful and fulfilling that you don't ever look back and have an ache of longing, then I am so so SOOOOO happy for you. The only thing that can stop this feeling is my pony, but I know you don't have one. Then again, maybe you don't need a pony- words are all you need? Words are powerful, tools of emotion and action. You would be pleased to know I have rediscovered my words. I can use them again. And the more I do, the better they become. THey evolve.

Thank you. Again.