Anyway... Haven't talked in a while, mostly because I haven't had time, but also becuase I jsut have had too much to write about, and as before, I have no time to get around to what needs to be done. So, i left it be. Which, in this case, was not a good thing. In fact, i ended up spazzing in Bio, and very nearly cried my way into complete hysteria... I really only made it into some hysterical-ness, but it was going to get worse if I wasn't jsut left alone. Thank God I had been pissing everyone off, or I might have jsut committed myself throwing myself out the window.
Anyway... Between Katie, Missa, prom, and all that good shyt, I've been so upset the past couple of days, I haven't known who to scream at, who to cry in front of, and who else to just... ignore. So, I ignored everyone, and in doing so, keeping minimal contact with anyone, I managed to get jsut enough conversation in, that it set me off the edge and i ended up doing exactly what I was trying to avoid, in frotn of EVERYONE in my Bio class. Gotta love stuff that like. Actually, I think Missa mostly set me up to fail, because everyone believes her over me, and we all know why. I should jsut laugh myself into a corner and be paranoid with the cockroaches... "Did you see that fruitcake in the corne, Josh?" "Oh yeah, Myrtle... she's a paranoid one..." "She has a flyswatter, too...She thinks we're gonna attack her!" "Ever see anything as sad as that!?"
"You jsut haven't found anyone that wrinkles your prune, have you?" How wise is that saying? Anyway... No. I haven't found anyone that "wrinkles my prune". I simply cannot seem to find anyone that I like enough to make a giant effort for, to impress and seriously make time for. As it is, I was invited to go over Joe's house to hang with him and Chris this afternoon, and I felt real bad when i had to cancel because clarissa called and told me I needed to get my ass over to hte barn, Bugsy was sick. So, I'll jsut have to explain to him what happened and that I'm sorry i couldn't make it. Course, I'm not sure he's exactly disappointed, but... hey, I figure I have to do it anyway. He gave me a ride home, he deserves an explanation. *shrugs*
Oh man!! Katie thinks I'm trying to break her and matt up!!! *snickers* I'm sorry... I may do stupid things, Hell, i do assanine things!, but that is jsut tooo stupid, even for me to try. (*listening to Faith Hill- Breath*) Besides, I don't think she understands what I meant in my last blogger post. I sitll like him, yes. But not as in a romantic, I want him now, kind of way. It's more like... the glue to our frinedship, which I wonder even exists anymore... I've had it with one-way friendships, and even though he tells me that he hates them, too... I wonder if he realizes jsut how one-sided he is, sometimes? I mena, if anyone inititates anything, it's usually me. Honestly, I feel like I'm poaching when I call him, or IM him, or anything. It's jsut me being paranoid, but even so... it takes a lot of effort to pick up hte phone or type in that simple word of greeting. And, I jsut don't have the willpower to make the effort anymore. I'm too sick to care enough to pick it up, to even care anymore. Sorry, Matt.
I'm sick and sad and delusional and cruel...
The world is a bleak, depressing,
horizon of stark corners and cold shadows.
Watch for me now, watch for the Dark One...
On her harley she comes, all
black leather and silver chrome
Her black bike of Doom has come to fly
through the skies, and pick away
the colors of the world..
On a happier note, I have been happy lately, mostly, except for the moments when I've been momentarily sad or depressed... mainly when I'm with certain people, LoL So, Joe and Chris each have a business card from my dad with my number on it... I'm a little worried, really... hehe That was nervous laughter, just so everyone knows. Anyway... i got shyt to do, things to say, people to confuse... cya all later!