I've realized jsut how much of a dumbass I am. When I'm busy being obsessed with Joe, I forget to notice the things aorund me, and to think of everything that I should be thinking of.

My family's falling apart, and for once in my life, I'm not exaggerating. I'm so scared, and all I want is for someone to come here, right now, and take me away, take me anyplace, for anything.

I just lied to my dad... And told him I'd had no idea what Seth had been up to... And I think that it's somewhat my fault. He'd told me, but I didn't want to get invovled, I figured that he would make his own mistakes, mom and dad would find out and his ass would be grass.

My head hurts. And my hands are shaking... can someone please come for me? My knight on a white horse, any horse would do, really.

I read back my secret blogger and realize just how much I hate what I wrote, because it can't offer me comfort in my time of need, and that I've become so dependent on others to help me in my time of need.