Wow.. Talk about pulling the rug out form under me. I was really kind of excited to go to Charlene's party today, you know, get dressed up and dance and have some fun with peopleI haven't hung out wiht in so long. It was going to be great fun, right? I mean, so what if I could only go for the last hour- at least I got to go at all!

Yeah. Right. I remember why I don't hang out wiht them any longer. And I hate the fact that I let them get me down like this.. I really was excited to wear that skirt... it was short, yeah, but it wasn't -that- short, and it looked nice with the shirt and jackety-type thing that SB fixed me up with... I want to cry... I was crying.

I came home saying how much I hated them all, and all I want right now, is for someone to cry to. For someone to tell me that it was them who were wrong, and I really did look nice, not like "Hey Hooker" material... But I don't ahve anyone because all my friends went out together without me and I went out with some people I thought were my friends... What the hell is wrong with me?

I remember why I don't go to Papa Gino's, or birthday parties, or anything. I jsut don't belong, and it's so hard to go back to being odd man out. I haven't been in so long, and going back, it's like when I had no friends at all, jsut people who I hung out with. Like i was saying to mom the ohte rday.. I'm a jock, or a punk, or a rock band groupie, or soemthing... But I'm not one of them. And it's so hard... Why can I jsut be liked for who I am?