Okay, so I jsut had an amazing coincidence, that I really would like to explain away, but simply cannot. Hah. Some of you may think me the biggest fool ever, believe me, I can understand completely. But, nevertheless, it's interesting.

So, jsut watched this ridiculously funny movie, Runaway Bride, and wow... Didn't I realize that the bride is in a similar predicament to the one I am in. I have no mind of my own, so therefore cannot sustain a relationship because I don't know what I want, who I am, what is happening, and therefore, cannot help but adopt certain mannerisms of that other person and an attitude 1) that they will like and find attractive, with no regard to what I care about, or 2.) that I think the other person may drop me for, because I'm afraid that I might have to go through my whole OCD cycle afterwards.

Like I said, can we say screwed up?

I admit, I'm extremely hard-headed, which doesn't help, becuase I think I know what I want, so I bull ahead, but when I find out that it's completely opposite, I just... change tack and throw myself into that, just as quickly, with no thought as to why I can't jsut find a track and stick to it.

There is, quite possibly, only 3 people that I have ever confided in, in my life, and well, I need to make myself very clear on one thing. Only 2 of these people are my parents. The third is just going to have to figure out who I'm tlaking about.

But, before I do anyting drastic, I am planning on some serious self-awareness talks, to figure out what the hell I'm all about, and right now? A walk in the woods with my puppies seems the right way to go.