Hah!!!!

Lines of the night- "You fucked up." and... "Beta bubbles, anyone?" LMAO Lindsey, I missed you so much. Never leave me again, hun.

It's kind of ironic how I found an old friend and had so much fun, on the same night that I drove a cleaver through the last tendrils of friendship with another. I'm tired of being discreet. Fuck it. Why should I even give him something to hide behind? I remember why I dislike jocks, and why I originally figured that no one should trust them. Becuase they're assholes. All of them. Even the ones who you tell your secrets to, use their shoulders for tissues, make laugh when all they want is to die, get corrupted by and have so much fun doing it.

At the moment, I'm unsure of what I feel, but mostly, I think its true, deep, hurting, "If this was anyhting else, I'd find Nick and cry to him," aching, sadness. In fact, I think I may jsut give in and cry, becuase I can't do anything else. One phone call doesn't make this better, Nick. All or nothing? I choose nothing.

You want to know why I wanted to hang out? Hah. You'll probably never know, now. That message was an explanation of the rules of the new game. Basically, you've hurt me time after time, and I'm finally setting up some rules. No more bullshit. I'm not calling, I'm not making plans, I'm not asking you what you're doing, I can do it without you.

I'm hurt, I'm crying, I feel like I'm dying becuase I did this to myself, but it is something that needs to be done.

And I'm angry. Deep-down, boiling, seething, raging anger. If I had a shoe, I'd throw it so hard, your kid would have a dent in his head. I actually tried to kick you where I've never even contemplated kicking any guy in my life. That's how angry I am. Evil-pissed.