I find it funny... My SB is full of guys and friends and guys and events and guys and thoughts. But msotly guys. There's a clear pattern that emerges- a pattern of boys and the things that girls go crazy over.

Cat called me the yesterday. He thought I was mad at him. How fitting for our relationship. What relationship? Exactly.

I was looking back through my SB and came upon this story of a night when I was with him. I can still feel everything from that night- the tension in my chest, my throat choking up, hyteria welling jsut beneath the surface, and the whole time, I'm trying to just keep cool, calm down- knowing full well it won't happen.

That was when drugs were still new to me. When I was still sensitive enough to friek out when my brother did them; before I got to this point of apathy where I just can't find it in myself to care. I care, but I jsut can't find the energy to get excited over it anymore. I still get the tight feeling but it goes away after a while... Nothing like -that- night. I completely flipped. Just, gone.

You look a little closer to the present and find the Cat I knew and loved to death, then when I went to school and everything fell apart.

And now, who knows? Maybe we'll find a way to hang out and not try to kill each other with every word. Maybe we won't know each other as well as we think. Maybe it'll be fun again. Maybe.