This jsut isn't a good year for me. Actually, this just isn't a good... 2 years for me.

I was thinking about last year, and how traumatized each and every one of us BVille kids was, just by association to all the deaths that occurred for so many varied reasons. Suicide, accident, leukemia, it didn't really matter if we knew them or not, it was just thinking about kids within 2 years of our age dying. It brings to mind a true appreciation for every day that you live, every moment you have, every second you recognize as one to enjoy or waste. Personally, I think I am forever sorry for, and indebted to, those who died this past year, for the things they made me realize, as well as countless others: Mortality is reality. We are not immortal, no matter how much we like to think we are- lucky, maybe, but luck only goes so far. You shouldn't be afraid of dying, you should be afraid of the unlived life. - That's a mangled quote from Tuck Everlasting. It's so true. I hope I never forget it.


Now, on a more present-day, and disgusted note, I have poison ivy on my face. Not just around my jaw or chin, but around my EYES! That's right, you fucking got it, MY EYES!!! Now, for all those who don't realize how allergic I am to poison ivy, I remember how once I had a moonface for WEEKS because of that stupid plant, and NOW, because of my utter STUPIDITY and LAZINESS, I have it again- but AROUND MY EYES!!! I will be Blind FOREVER!!! Fuck! I'm so FUCKED!!! *snarl, pace, growl* I'm typing while I can still see the fucking keyboard, venting my rage into the only thing that will care half as muh as I. My fucking diary. I'm soooo MAD AT MYSELF! Those goddamned hedges are going DOWN! As soon as I can see once again. They're Dead! OMg... I'm going to miss so much school. OMG... THey're going to leak and blister and I'm gong to have scars again... *huge sigh, thinking about crying, nope, nope, there's the tears... running through the poison ivy on my cheekbones* I was jsut starting to get the hang of being pretty, too...

On a more upbeat note: I should tell Matt that this would be the time to get that lipring he's been telling me about- no one's going to be near my face for a few weeks... *shudder as remembering the case of ivy on her fingers* OMG... Ughhhhh... And this is the primary source... OMg... So disgusting. *gag* AROUND MY EYES!!!!