I have sunglasses perched on my head- I'm cool. Summer cool. *Sloe smile* I like that word. When used with eyes, it means slanted, dark eyes. I am using it to show that I'm feeling marvelously sensuous, smiling a smile that any dark, slant-eyed girl would be proud of. Even if I am blonde-haired and blue-eyed... Marvelously Aryan, really.

"I still hear your voice as if you were next to me.
I still feel you in my dreams."

Cascada- Every Time We Touch

"I'm really a cat you see,
And it's not my last life at all!"

Shakira - Don't Bother

I love sunglasses. They hide your eyes but you can still see everyone else. I find it unnerving when I walk by people and wonder what they're thinking or really looking at, but I understand completely why they wear them. It's a mixed symbol- at the same time you are inviting people to look and wonder, they act as a mask of anonymity. But I guess anything could be classsified as that, if youthink long enough- clothes. I mean... why wear crazy clothes unless you are tempting to look and wonder what's beneath, only to cover it up? haha Maybe that's the whole fun in it?

I think about stuff sometimes... Stuff involving Matt, and it gets me kinda sad because I realize I probably won't ever see him like that again, but then I think that good times are for remembering and it's okay to be sad becase I -won't- see him like that anymore. But I think hte best part is that I'm not spiralled into a down-down place when I think about it. It's good knowing that you can deal with something like that, without going pscho about it. When he came over the other day, right after we last talked, I immediately went into Kate's room and collapsed crying on th floor because he was ignoring me and I was ignoring him, and it hurt and I hated it. But then I put it into perspective and decided to make it okay. Making a decision was the key thing. No more letting others make up my mind for me. I can do it all by myself. And I did. And I went into the room, smiling, "How's the game going, boys?" and settled on the couch to read, and... was okay. It hurt a bit when he left, but overall, it was okay. And that felt good. I am ready to let go. *Smiles* A bit sentimentally sad, but with friends like the ones I have, holding me up whe nI fall, I'm doing jsut fine.

Thanks guys.

I have decided that I hate winter because deodorant does not WORK!!! WTF MATE!?!?!? I -hate- sweating more than possibly anything, and... I can't seem to stop!!! AHHH!!!

I feel so bad for Kate... What with John going way in a couple weeks, for 3 months. Ouch. that hurts the team, hardcore. I'm not sure I could handle it, to tell you the truth. Mmm...