Okay... Wanna-be Bitchy without enough cleverness to cut it, and transparent when I want to be... My two thoughts for yesterday, Friday.

Okay, now... i have a few apologies to make to everyone, most of them for being the worst that it can possibly get, when I'm in the Spastic the Fantastic mood. Now... Brad, thanks for the ride to Brennan's. I really appreciated it, and I understand your need to see Tara safely into Leslie's car. I really shouldn't have bothered you as much as I did. If I'd wanted to get home sooner, I should've... done something else. *grins* So, sorry Bro.
Ehm... Missa and Craig, I really shouldn't have spazzed out on you like that, but... I think yesterday jsut wasn't the best day for me... Pain (yes, I really did hurt my knee A LOT!!!) and overwhelming panic (which was completely... I don't even know anymore. I got home at 10:59, so... not unnecessary, but definitely unneeded) don't seem to mix real well together.
Aims and Brennan- Congrats! I'm real happy for you both! Aims... I desperately owe you an apology for last night... What I said was not the reason I turned around, and hobbled screaming up the stairs. I really am happy for you. I was just... what's the word I'm looking for? ... Insane? Crazy? Panicked beyond anything you would understand?

Now, for all of you, I really hope that you can possibly forgive and forget my harsh words and tears and sobs of last night. I don't think I was all right in the head.

Now... back onto the rest of what i was saying. Bitchy without the cleverness to pull it off. Got to love someone saying that to you. So, in other words, I'm a person that's just to stupid and wit-less to pull of the bitchy scene. *nods* Oh yeah... I'm enjoying this. I think it hurt me more than I cared to say, because I laughed it off in Carolyn's face, and continued walking to class. Unfortunately, it's still bugging me, so... I'm hurt. Bad. Yesterday definitely wasn't my day for living, but man... do you have to call me a bitch, mean, cruel, asshole, -and- stupid, all in the period of walking between classes? I jsut want to cry. That's all there is to it. So yeah, that certainly didn't help my breakdown yesterday, because it was on my mind the entire time, because I didn't want to be a stupid bitch, but I didn't want to be a smart bitch either... I would relaly like to be known as a nice person, really. Granted, it's not gonna happen, but... It's a nice wish, nonetheless. So... yup. Thanks Carolyn, you jsut managed to ruin yet another of my days.

Why do I even bother trying to be nice to her and Mike? All they are, are assholes to me! Mike never says anyhting but "Abby, you're mean!" "Abby you're a jerk!" "Abby you're such a bitch!" And me... trying to be nice and not lose my temper, just smiles, laughs, and jokes it off. All i can say, is, I'm very glad that I have absolutely no more than 3 classes with that bunch of arrrogant, stuck-up, snobbish, cliqueish, introverted, eating-their-own-shyt-because-anything-else-isn't-good-enough-for-them, ASSHOLES!!!! *smiles* So yes, If there is one reason why I'd drop out of the Adv. Pre-Cal and drop down to Standard, is not ebcause I can't handle the math, I got a 97 on my last QUIZ!!!, but because of the people that are in the class. So... I'm not in the mood for anything else.

(Did you know that paragraph above was supposed to be about me wondering why I cared about what they said? Hmm... I guess the truth will come out.)

Right... So, Transparent when I want to be. Hmm... Not exactly bad, but... not exactly good, either. So I'm transparent, huh? I guess you're right. Maybe I am. I'm horrible at hiding my feelings, my life is an open book. *smirks* Or so everyone thinks. Brad certainly should get more credit than he deserves for dealing with me and knowing my "type" as well as he does. Yes, as you guys can prolly tell from above, the giggly, bubbly cover is my defense mechanism. I laugh off whatever I can't handle, and then fume as soon as I get in private. When I get in with people that intimidate me, I turn all bubbly, giggly, happy, and completely idiotic. *smiles* Real great way to make friends, huh? Erik, of all people, would know this, because when I met him, I was already intimidated, and so I was at my most idiotic best. Granted, for some reason, that works with some people. *smirks* Oh god... No wonder why we broke up. The giggly, bubbly me can usually make up some funny shyt! But... me myself and I, we're not too good at it.

So yeah... I jsut want everyone to know I'm sorry about what i did/was like, last night, and would someone jsut shoot me up with Tylenol PM's when i get like that? Drop me to the ground! LoL So... anywho, gonna go do wood today. *flexes* I'm really not feeling so good about this knee thing... Either way, call me when you think I should be rescued. Luv ya all!