Hmm... So, now. naomi, I wish I had courage like you to jsut blurt out whatever I want on here, and not worry about it coming back to bite me in the ass. I used to think I was paranoid, because I had this insane fear, still do, actually, about writing down feelings of any sort. Because, if you write somehting down, people can read it, and they have proof that you said it, so then they can show it to another person. Well... I've gotten over some of that, but about some things, I am still very much the same scaredy cat that I was. Now, I'm sure, after that, you're wondeirng what sort of juicy gossip I'm writing about. Well, nothin, really. I jsut needed to get that out, because I know in my ehad what the juicy gossip is, and well... I jsut don't need it spread all over the palce, where people can read it. In a way, I want to jsut scream it from the rootops, and let the eagles carry my words to the farthest reaches of the world, but then reality kicks me back down with her tall leather boots and with a pointed finger, shakes her head and lectures me on being practical.

Dear God! WHy msut someone be practical? I was thinking about this in the shower. Well, not exactly this, but sort of. You'll understand in a moment. You can think a lot of strange things while taking a shower. I htink it's because you're alone, and no one can hear you muttering to yourself, if you mutter (I do not!) to yourself at all, over the water, and the fact that ... when you're alone in a small place with the water running down you, feeling oh so good and warm and almsot tender, it's very much like something that most of us dream about, or lie to ourselves that we don't dream about, or maybe, in fact, youreally don't dream about it. Who knows? But anyway... I was home alone today while i took a shower, so I took a good long one, and laid in the bottom of my tub for I don't know how long, and jsut soaked up the heat, with the shower water leaping onto my skin, then skittering away like a tiny waterbug, and I thought to myself, with my eyes closed, about practicality. (Side note: If any of ym english teachers ever saw that sentence, they would shoot me. So, please, no one let them see it! LoL) Why does one have to be practical all the time? I can see how it would be useful sometimes, but all the time? Wouldn't it get dreadfully boring? I mean, think about it. And this was actually the course of my thoughts in the shower. Why not jsut go skinnydipping once during your whole life? Or maybe, for the life of me, don't even think about it! (That was sarcasm, in case you didn't notice), maybe even twice or three times! Now, I know a lot of people do it a lot! And Geez! I can see how it would be a ton of fun!!! And I made a pact to myself, in hte shower, (I'm stuck on the fact that I was thinking about this in the shower... can you tell?) that Dammit! I'm going to go skinnydipping at least once, maybe twice or even three times this year, dammit! And whether it's on my own, or with a friend, or hell, (Please, don't faint when you see this, some of you weaker hearts) maybe even with my boyfriend- provided I can ever get one! *rolls eyes* That's a story for antoher day, if I've ever heard one! So... There.

And yes, Katie, I know very well that I did not live up to hte pact we made this summer. I'm really sorry... I jsut couldn't. And it's not that I wouldn't, it's that I couldn't. I simply could not find someone that I thought about in that damned way! Frell you to hell!! (not you, Katie... it was directed more towards myself and God and the world- especially... eh, we'll leave that blank, too.)

(*blink*) Roight... Well, now I'm done with whatever I was talking about. Here's the agenda for today, so far as I know it. Senior pictures- Are you kidding me? I get to break another camera this year? Whoot! Yee haw! LoL Who'd ahve thought i could come up with an awesome chance like that again!! But seriously folks... Why me? Why seniors? Can i jsut enter High school without a picture? Just enter without a face and name? I'd enjoy that very much... Ms. Nobody.

And I kind of wonder, too... Am I going to start the year off wihtout friends? it's looking that way. I was thinking of planning fall party, and had jsut called up Linds to see what she thought about it, when she brought up the fact that there was a concert on the same night, and hey! Why don't I go? Well... good question. Because, after I got off the phone, I looke at my mom, and asked her, "Mom, really, there's a concert going on that night that I want to go to, and well... I don't think I have enough friends for a party, anyway!" She jsut laughed, but even so... usually I start off the year wiht a ton, then it gets better as it goes on, but by 3rd or even 4th quarter, we all hate each other... Or maybe I jsut hate them? Who knows? But whatever the case, what's going to happen if I start out without any friends? Dear God, the possibilities are endless.

WEll, anyway... those are some very random thoughts in my head at the moment.

Also. I've decided that I want a guy, but one that wants me in return, and can learn how a girl likes to be treated, or better yet, already knows. Please? Flowers when they sell them? Maybe a birthday present or two? And dear god... He doesn't have to be five inches taller than me. *blink* But it would be nice...