((*thinks to Dido-White Flag, desperately -needs- that CD*))

That poem... It's not about what it seems to be about. At first, I even thought it was, and it was jsust frustration about that, but when I actually thought about it, and talked about it last night with Crystal, I realized that it wasn't about anything in particular, just life. The fact that I need to hide at someone else's house, that I have something wrong with me that no one can figure out (maybe it's nothing, but who knows until someone tells me, DAMMIT!), and the other numerous shyt (including the events of last night... *shakes head*) that is just screwing me up at every turn.

That poem is about life. It's about how, whenever you manage to get up, life will tramp you down. But, it's also about getting up again, fighting free of everything that's holding you down, and trying to live again. And for all those who want to put stuff in that may or may not be there, well... Have a field day.
So, anyway... Crystal, thank you for giving me a place to outburst... I hope I provided that same listening ear for you. Between hitting cars and talking wth Grandma Johnson. *grin* We have to hang out more, because you are awesome.

I feel like a top... Always spinning spinning, and sometimes the pattern wavers, and you don't know what exactly you're doing, but then it all comes craching down- gravity, the weight of your own top-heavy self, and you fall over, bruised and still. But, before long, you're up again, and spinning that graceful dance again, maintaining a pose of unearthly beauty. *sigh* I'm so depressing. Why do people read this? Lol I used ot be so upbeat, and it seems like I still am, until I start to think about why I'm not, really...

As Crystal put it, I always used to blame it on one thing, because I couldn't think about what was really bothering me, because it was just... Life. *shrugs* So, I guess we get up and learn to deal, and spin some more. Hide some more, spin some more, what's the big difference?