I hate being like this. I hate being so... down. I hate that I feel like I"ve been abandoned, even though I know I haven't. It's like there's two sides to my brain (Which there are, I know... Metaphorically speaking, duh!), and one side is Jeckyl, the other Hyde.

One side knows how ridiculous I'm being, how I should just... go find something else to do, RP, do whatever! That side says... Chill, they'll be back, they haven't abandoned you, you're fine! Two nights by yourself will not kill you, you have no reason to be so angry about everything. Be nice, be calm, be civilized, and things will be back to normal before you know it.

The other side, on the -very- far end, says... GODDAMMIT IT!! WHY THE FUCK DID THEY LEAVE ME!? I HATE THEM!! I HATE KATE!!! I HATE MATT!!! I -HATE- THEM!!! John's okay... I WANT TO DO SOMETHING!!! I WANT TO GO HOME! I WANT TO SPIT AND YELL AN CRY IN FRUSTRATION!!! AHHHH!!!!

I can't be friends with a boy I like. It just leads to fighting and screaming and hurtness, because I like him and can't have him, and I know it. I've started already... haha When i say all or nothing, nothing means... Get the fuck away.

Sad, huh? I'm such a jealous creature, I can't even stand ex-boys around me because I'm possessive as all hell. Matt wonders why I pick fights with him over nothing? Lmao I'm going to Cedar Crest next year. Fuck this URI shit. You guys are... HISTORY! Muah!