I read books. It's true. Books offer a world other than ours. You can read to get lost, or you can read to stay grounded. I guess it all depends on what you read, right?

I read to stay sane. To remind myself that there are others out there with it worse off than me, or that I'm not the first person to have done it. Because if they thought of it and thought it worthy enough to write down, then you're definitely not the first. Or the last. Or anything special.

I find it funny how most people spend their whole life trying to find ways to make themselves special or just prove to themselves that they are unusual, original, etc. I think perhaps that the reason why is because they know they're special, deep down, everyone is. And this makes us scared. Everyone. So we try to find ways that we are elite, special, so that we have some group to fit into- the "Special" group. I do it, I readily admit it. I go around muttering about my special familiy, my special temperment, my special this or that. I'm not fucking special in any way that anyone else isn't. No fucking joke.

But I read to remind myself of it. To prove to myself that no... I really am pretty ordinary with some weird shit in my past that's made me just a little less ordinary. But not original, by far.

What brings this on? Thoughts on special people. thoughts on people that think they are so special. You're right. You're fucking weird. You're a fucking asshole, you're not someone everyone else can deal with. But you're not the only one. So chill out and just... relax.

Stoner and Spaz. It reminds me of who I am, what I am, the people who find me and the things that happen when they do. It reminds me that it's not personal, it happens to many, and... just go with it, enjoy it for the good times and mourn the bad. But don't regret it, because... it's life. It's normal life. Right smack in the middle of the spectrum, normal life.

I'm special, you're special, we're all special. And in that, we're completely normal. So... smile pretty and hold that pose.