"Have you ever thought about reincarnation?"

Hah... How many thoughts this one question would provoke. What were you in a past life? Were you a forward-thinker or a conventionalist? Were you selfish or selfless? How many lives do you think you had before? Do you even believe in reincarnation? Why? Were you religious in a past life? Did -that- religion believe in reincarnation? If you don't beleive in religion today, why not? Is there anything to religion, beyond symbolism to explain real-world things? Are there really supernatural stuff in this world? How'd the first t get stuck with the sound "tuh"? How was the first grain of sand formed? Are rocks the same here as on outer space? Do you think there are such things as aliens? What are aliens? Would they look like us?
Or... would they merely appear like us? Why would they want to? Why are we here? Is there a point to living? Or... Are we just some -thing's- plaything? Do you think that we have souls? What's a soul? What makes us think and act and behave differently than anyone else? if we all had the exact same chemicals and exact same genes and exact same upbringing, would we all be the same? Do genes account for behavior, or is it learned? Do you think cowboys ever actually saw the stars? Or just fell asleep after a certain age, because they knew they would always be there? If you were an animal in a past life, what do you think you learned from it? Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to change your shape, yet retain your mind? If you were an animal, do you thin something you learned from it helps you in this life? Like King Arthur in the stories of how Merlyn brought him up? Was King Arthur or Robin Hood real? I could go on all day like this, without a pause, because there are so many questions... This took me ten minutes of continuous typing and jsut thinking... Why couldn't I think of anyhting in the 8th grade when Ms. Fracareta tried to key my mind open? Why don't I think of anything personal? Why don't I ever let out what I'm thinking, really? Why can't I just tell Clarissa that I miss Dan so much, I wish I could drive by there and just... stay? Just, never have to go anywhere, but stay with my horse, stay with her day after day, until one of us died, just so I could watch her and play with her, and learn from her, all the wisdom that she gave me, that loving was okay, to open your ehart meant you let in the good as well as the bad? Would she be disappointed in me that I forgot the lesson? Do you think she'd remember me? Do you think she'd ever trust me again for leaving her? Why didn't I stay? Where's Mouser? I miss Mouse. I miss my childhood, and I miss being able to do it all again, because I wouldn't do any of it different. Do you know how mich I miss my horses? I miss my horses becuase for me, they were an age of innocence, of naivety, when everything could be, and would be, alright. That good people did end up winning over bad people, that if you waited your turn, you got the same size snack as someone who pushed for it.

I think, in a past life, I was an indian. Because I believe that they taught their children more of their past and their stories, and I believe that teaching is what we are here for. To live, to teach, to better. There are so many things I wish I could do in life, so many impractical, never to be realized, things. And yet... I wish I could learn how to sail a ship, or just be a deckhand, and know what it feels like to work day in and day out, for the dream of seeing the world. I want to roam the prairies and see the mustang herds unspoiled, unpenned.

And I realized something, that I had lost in what seems so many years ago, that I forgot, even though I was taught it by a source that seems so unlikely. I remember that to live, you must first open your heart, cut loos the strings of fear, and fly- spread your wings, open your mouth and scream, and fly. Just realize that life is there to live, remember what so many have forgotten. Just live; feel the fear, wariness, happiness, joy, sadness, ecstasy,pain- live through it and realize that you are a better person, you have found more, because of it.

I htink I'm most afraid of forgetting these things for good, forgetting to question and trust. Britney, I gave you the first signs of my friendship- true words, and the wisdom of personal experience.

Love Grace, love her with all your ehart, but know that your days are numbered and you cannot keep her, no matter how you love her so. Know that it will hurt, more than a thousand swords, more than stumbling across a glassy field. But know that in the future, you will look back, and remember the good times far more than the bad, and you will have that much more experience under your belt, for decisions in the future.

What have I learned? Beware the user, but trust the ones who deserve it. And live with your heart and head combined together. Believe in the decisions you make, and always make the best of a bad situation. It can only get better.

To me: Please don't forget racing or being saved and watched over, don't ever forget that moment when you knew it would be okay, that it would be okay to trust her with your life, that she would watch over you. And msot of all, remember the hope that ruled your life, let you watch with open eyes and heart, that allowed you to see what others couldn't, or wouldn't. Remember the Mustangs, the Arabs, that silly Scary, the Thoroughbreds and New Forest Pony that taught you so much, and Remember the crazy Warmbloods, Drew and Stan, that made you remember. Remember all of these, and remember a time when the open prairies ruled your heart.