I'm so close to crying, it's like... I jsut should be. Even my nose is stuffy.

Christine wrote such a true, awesome entry, and I know she said everything that I wish I could say, one of the things that has been clogging me up for I don't know how long.

Oh, now I am crying... brb.

What am I going to do without you guys? Seriously, I'm so afraid to go down there, and I'm not even going to NY, or Maine, or Ohio, but jsut staying in RI, and I'm so scared that I won't find friends to joke around with, talk all night, compare boy troubles, and discuss the latest fashion trends-- We did that!?

So, here's the first edition of my list of who you are and why I love you, and by golly, if you don't read this, I'll be so sad...

My four compadres:
To the four special ladies in my life- SB, you are wonderful, my rock in the storm, always the first I turn to whenever I have a crises, or jsut need to cry on... Katie, you are my inspiration to be a stronger person. You push me and pull me and threaten me until I do something new, and find out how much I love it for myself! (Track, etc.) Ala, you are just such a great person, so much life and fun, I won't ever be able to find someone to just be so silly with, and then crash on a couch and watch a movie, eating gobs of Kettle Corn, discussing boys and life... Christine, you are my wishing well - Everything I ever wanted to be, you are. You say what I can't find words to, you push me to try harder and be my best, you are a friend who I know I don't ahve to see everyday to know you're still there, still hanging with me through thick and thin. Good luck in Utica, I'm positive you will have the time of your life. No worries, hun.

The guys:
Jeremy- Hah... didn't think you'd be first, huh? Love/hate is the perfect relationship, becuase without both, you never get enough of each to understand the other so well. And you're the last person on Earth I would have thought I'd be friends with, back in 9th grade... Nick, you are a great guy, someone I never thought I'd grow to love, but there you are!! Just being with you has taught me so much, about life and love and guys, the reason to be yourself and be proud, where would I be without you? Joe, you're just crazy!!! I wish I could be as awesome as you- "Just go up to someone and talk to them!"- You are one of those people who I could sit and listen to all day long, jsut to hear what you have to say. I love it. Chris. You are the original best friend I always wished I had. I've always(since 8th grade) called you the guy I would love to live with, jsut so I wouldn't miss anything, someone who I love to talk to because you always ahve something to say. You're brilliant, opinionated, and you play a guitar! What's hotter than that!!?? No worries, Domini, I'm not after him... :) Matt, again, another I count as a great friend, though one I'm positive I don't get. I've never asked your advice or read your blogger, but jsut by being the mystery I've never been able to solve, never tried to solve, you give me reason to keep trucking. You are my inspiration, a shove to get on with life and be confident in my own abilities. If I hurt you before, I am forever sorry. *smile* Forgive?

The girls:
There are barely any girls who I get along with, who aren't compadres. Crystal, you are a very special person, one of those who I'm never sure whether to laugh at or flip off. talking to you about anything, is so much fun. You always seem to know exactly what to do, and your insights are supreme. Lindsey- Wow. I really wish I could know exactly what to say at the right time, how to be silly and talk really loud without sounding dumb, how to get you to hang with me before we get thrown apart. How's potato soup sound? Broccoli cheddar for me, thanks... Naomi... What can i say? I've never seen your face, but I still call you one of my oldest friends. Beneath sarcasm and biting wit, lies a heart of gold and a brain to express what you're feeling. Without your advice, I surely would have floundered and sunk long ago, and without your heartfelt stories, I would've been denied the pleasure of falling under a true artist's masterful retelling of real-life events. I hope you stay true to your heart, no matter what happens.

There are so many countless others, the Smithfield crew, The Lemmings, the Everday Crowd. To all of you, I'm with you and I miss you and I hope you know I'm always here for you, honest and simple.

So, I'm off to URI, and I hope these few sentences can show all of you the barest scratch of my feelings toward you.

I'm sorry I've been so confused in the past, for being a ditzy blonde when I needed to be strong, for forgetting to call when I said I would. I'm glad I could help you in your hour of need, I hope I wasn't too honest, and I hope that all of you, every single one of you, remembers how much fun it was to raise holy Hell, cause a shitload of mischief, drive fast on mountaindale, race boys in cars and win, eat tons of kettle corn, laugh until our ribs hurt, find an excuse for cinnamon crunch bagels, cruise around talking until 2 am, paint cars, freeze our asses off in a moving Ice Box, walk around town at midnight, drive around Pawtucket picking up random kids, dress up in holey dresses, spar until you're exhausted, and just have random fits of insanity.

God, I'm going to miss you all. I hope I never forget. Anything.