Why do they do it? Why, whenever something happens, do they just... let me find out when mybrother brags to me how much he draggin the family down? Would they have called me to tell me he was gone?! Do you think they would ahve done that much?? I would have gone home this weekend, looking to relax and pal around with my bro, and he would have been gone! And I never would have known!!! Is that was families do to each other?!

I'm not sure if it's some kind of demented protection scheme they have going on, but whatever it is, it's fucked up. I should know when you call the paperwork place and send him away. He's MY BROTHER!!!! Mom cries on hte phone to me, but do you thinkthey could hav epicked up the phone and TOLD ME? Of course not! "WE didn't wan tto upset your studies!" Studies?! He's my little dork! He's hte shithead! What are studies in comparison?? I can handle myself well enough to get my work done, but if you deny me the knowledge of what's happening, I can't promise that I will always recover from that sort of treachery. And that's exactly what it is.

You -KNOW- I have problems with people and things leaving without knowing, and showing up to find them gone. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!? Seth, why did you ahve t odo this to yourself? I don't understand, why are you such a screwup? I love you bro, but I hate what you do to us. I hate you sometimes, more than anything, for being who you are. And I don't even know if I can blame it on the drugs. That's the scary part. If I could say it was the drugs, I would be able to write it off and still love you completely, get you some help, and not hate you so much. But I'm just not sure it isn't you. And that's why I hate you.

This is going to be such a good day... I can see it.