I have a friend, who, no matter how high or low or self-pitying I get, can always bring me back to reality. Her mum is in the hospital. Dear God, if that were to happen, if my mom were to ever stop being my mom, if she were ever to get hurt or just... quit, what would we do? How would we cope? I sit here, my fingers making the only noise beyond my roommate's gentle sleep-breathing, and the tears just flow straight down. I picture the other night, mom walking in on me as I cry into my hands, just running to get tissues then sit by me until I slow down enough for her to give me a hug, and I wonder what it might have been like without her.

I can't imagine being that strong, to deal with your mom gone, and not only that, but have to take care of everyone else, as well? I suppose, though, that necessity makes or breaks us, and all I can say is that I'm really glad I haven't had to make that choice.

I guess my problems just don't compare to those of other people. I know there is so much sadness and pain out there, there is just no way that mine can compare. He's not dying or dead, my family is still together, my mom hasn't given up yet, none of us is living on the street, how can I complain?

So now, I will cry and be angry and be the bipolarish person I'm becoming, but always remember that no matter how bad, it could always be worse.

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Right mom?

Thanks for the chocolate fish, it tastes good. Want the last piece?

Ps. I sent out Valentine's the other day! YAY! I hope everyone likes them.