I guess it is affecting me. I can't seem to get the energy to do anything. Except listen to music, watch Mulan, and type random, useless things. I want to go home, but I know if I do, I'll just cry more about things not related to Memere. I still want to go, but I can't get up, dressed, packed, and walk up to the parking lot, never mind drive all the way to Burrillville.

I jsut sit here, listening to Loreena MCkennit, Dido, Nickel Creek, any any other songs I can play full volume without listening to, and... do nothing. I should go home. I should be with my family. I should be sleeping with my doggies in hte backyard, after having a good cry into yellow blankie, and missing all those who in times past, I could have run to and bawled, knowing they would sit there and listen and then give me something to do, to get my mind off it.

I thank everyone for the birthday wishes, all day long, it really made me happy to have so many friends who cared. And I thank those who have offered me support today. Such polar opposites in such a short time.

Lindsey, I don't know what I would do without you. You are always there, no matter what. You are a friend in the truest sense, and I can't believe I'm lucky enough to have you around.

Beth, thank you for the kind words... I appreciated them more than I could possibly express.