The most eloquent, incredibly talented person I have probably ever not been jealous of, is trying to tell me something. I think. I must say, though I can feel what she's talking about for most anyone, I never seem to know -who- it is she speaks of, even when it is, most likely, me.

Don't you see, my friend, that grieving takes on new meaning when you talk bout me? I, as a general rule, don't grive in the "normal" way. I -can- cry, scream, go off, be alone, etc. And if you knew the amount of that I -did- do this weekend, you would realize why I can block it from my conscious for a few hours.

I know that whenever I play, it comes out. everything always does. It's like my sleeve, minus the actual sleeve. *little smile* I really am okay, it's just more than I need to do something in order to calm down. I need to distract myself...


Hell, i have no idea what I'm tlaking about. I have no idea what's going on, why I act the way I do. *shrugs* Got me... I'm the msot clueless person about why I act the way I do... Maybe I should take some self-help classes before I start telling others why I do nything. Lmao Maybe I should just get some help. heh'

Just take this for granted. I'm not pushed to the edge. I'm as good as it pretty much gets. I have people who watch over me the best they can, down here. I have places I can go to aovid all human contact. I am... quite comfortable, actually. I won't do anything too stupid, I promise.

Thanks for the concern. Appreciated. *half smile*