Addictions are bad. All of them. There is not one addiction that is good for a person. In the past couple of weeks, months, years, this truth has been hammered home more times than anyone should ever have to get close to carpentry tools. Hammer... carpentry tools... Hah hah? No? Okay, well...

Anyway, I've also managed to realize that addictions come in all shapes and sizes, though they will all hurt you in the end. Take this. I am addicted to RP'ing. Compare it to say... an alcohol addiction. Sure. There's no debate about which is worse for you, right? Hah... see, I've actually thought about this. There really is no difference. In the short run, they both fuck you over in terms of schoolwork- you spend more time doing them than schoolwork, and when you're not, you're thinking about doing them. They mess with your head hardcore- whereas RP is more a mental willpower thing, alcohol is a physical fuck-me-over, but the result is the fucking same. Only with RP'ing, isntead of falling down the stairs because you tripped and fell, you fall down the stairs because you were so preoccupied in your thoughts that you never -saw- them!! Granted, alcohol is worse for you in the long term, because it eats away at your liver, can kill you in excess and pretty much is jsut a bad deal. Rp'ing can give you carpal tunnel if you work hard enough at it, eyestrain is a max, and not to mention the amount of calories you're -not- expending by sitting in front of a computer screen when you should be out there PLAYING BALL!!!

Anyway... addictions jsut fuck you over. If you have an addictive personality, do sports, drink water, and don't EVER do anything that may be harmful in the long run. Because you're fucked. *shrugs*


Now, onto my second topic of the day. Problems. You know, I think I have a problem with driving and listening to music and overanalyzing the words in the song, twisting them to fit my life, and then Flipping OUT! I caught myself getting so incredibly pissed off, because some band said something that had absolutely nothing to do with me, and I somehow managed to make it fit into my own twisted little views of everyone around me. I just barely managed to keep myself from stomping on the accelerator and flying through traffic because I was so mad.

(What a great way to handle things, right? Let's go FASTER!!!)

I jsut kind of talked myself out of it, silently, because I didn't want Christine to think I was nuts, and calmly drove the same speed I had been going.

*le sigh* Oh, more in the SB... Someday I'll piece it all together.

Problems are a personal thing. Everyone handles their problems differently than others might. If you've never really been in trouble before then smaller problems seem like huge things, whereas if you've practically grown up with them, they seem normal. The only thing that problems have in common, is that there's always a way to get over them. It may not be easy, or quick, but there's always a way. You jsut ahve to figure it out.

Why is this coming out? I had a conversation last night that really stressed me out in more ways than jsut one. I have two friends who have larger problems than should ever occur, and I'm completely helpless. There is nothing I can do. I sat there shaking last night- first with anger at the utter stupidity of comments made in temper, and then with rage at myself, for not being able to help ANYONE! It's all well and good to say that "jsut by being there, you're helping," But the truth of the matter is, some problems can't be solved jsut by "being there". Sometimes you have to stand up and fight for what's right. And I can't. It hurts so goddamned bad when you finally realize that no matter how much you want there, it isn't possible. The situation would simply engulf you. I'm sorry.

The thing is, I feel for both of them. I understand in part what's happening with both of them. I hope to God they understand that.

Anyway... I've made a mess out of this. So incoherent. I still wish I could write prettily. *shrugs* Maybe Drouin was right. *grin* Hah... No way...

Catch ya on the flipside, folks!